Time for word barf

y that I mean I am compelled to write something, but I have no clue as to subject. So basically I’m just throwing up words from my mind through my fingers. It isn’t helping that I’m listening to my trance channel on my music app, shortest piece just over 3 minutes, longest piece just under 2 hours. This music is ideal for writing when I have a topic, because I can just turn my mind loose and words will fall out of my fingers practically by themselves. But when I don’t have a topic, subject, or prompt I can’t even hit the right keys for the words I don’t know. It’s like my mind is running around screaming and can’t find anything to say. That is a very disconcerting feeling.

Part of the problem is I’m solving a non-verbal problems with the Sprint-T re-do to make it so I can get in and out without resorting to a hoist. I’m working with 2 scenarios on this one. The first is to reduce the height of the front hoop so that I can get in and out by climbing over the side but still have SCCA legal rollover protection. Basically that one calls for everything between the rear hoop and the front bulkhead inclusive to get tweaked if not completely redone.

The other scenario is to raise the tops of both hoops enough that I can get out the side, which looks bad and raises the center of gravity, but only changes the rest of the car slightly and retains all the torsional rigidity from the first concept. A third possibility is to just ignore the loss of rigidity caused by the unbraced hole in the top of the cage and add grab bars to the halo structure so I can get in and out, while leaving the hole basically big enough to drop the body through and the roll hoops just high enough to pass SCCA tech. This is one of the better-looking alternatives that leaves the car with a low profile and decent rigidity. I could brace the hole in the top around the outside in this one, but it would be rehllyy yuhgly (misspelled on purpose, pronounce it like it’s spelled) to have tubes hanging off the top of the cage, and after reviewing it doesn’t help the ingress/egress problem.

Another problem is there has to be another bay that is unbraced across the to because the bracing obstructs forward vision. The top of the front bay behind the front bulkhead is basically the forward vision path, so to remain street-legal no bracing is allowed. So I have two out of three bays with no bracing across the top, even though they are completely braced sides and bottom and partially braced between them on the front hoop up as far as the base of the windshield. The open tops are something that can be dealt with somehow, I’ll figure it out.

Honest, I’m not really dead it just looks like it

I’m having some negative reactions to the gabapentin this week, including a fall into the dresser that gave me lots of bruises and scrapes. I already knew it was partially the fact I hadn’t eaten since noon Saturday and I had low blood sugar, but I probably also had an issue with the gabapentin, because I fell over backwards which is the opposite direction I usually fall. Usually I fall on my face, or at least my hands and knees.

This started with missing grocery shopping Saturday because my balance was wonky because I had been trying to time shift to be awake to play Shadowrun Sunday, and I ended up going to bed before dinner because sleepy and tired, then getting up basically 0500 Sunday and deciding I needed a shower because I normally take one when I go out and I didn’t go out Saturday so I was getting pretty whiffy. I started having issues standing up straight during the shower, and then I was having serious issues standing trying to get dry after the shower and then when I went to put my slippers on I fell over backwards and hit the dresser and the stereo and knocked bits off of both of them. And I had scrapes and bruises all over my back and the backs of my arms.

The reason why I think that most of the problem was low blood sugar was when I managed to get up off the floor and lean-walk against the wall to the kitchen and get food my balance got back to what passes for normal within an hour. I was pretty sure it wasn’t because I was tired, at least this time, because I had been sleeping for almost 10 hours before I got into the shower.

Anywho, we managed to get everybody online at the same time to do the stuff we normally do after completing a run, but that we had to do twice because the GM was sick or had to work before we took our break so we had a guest GM help us with a short run for those 2 weeks, but we couldn’t do the usual post-run until we finished the run we had already started. So we had Nuyen and Karma points to distribute from both runs and then we had to spend same on upgrades and equipment and living expenses (one of my expenses is ¥6K a month food and employees for the animal rescue in the 2nd sub-basement of my compound) and we decided that between the two runs about 3 months had expired so right off the top I had to drop ¥18000 on expenses. Then everybody found out I had over 90 unspent Karma that I should have been spending on skills upgrades but didn’t have to because my stats and skills were so high from chargen that I was pretty much reaching limits on all my rolls I didn’t glitch. I was hitting accuracy limits or other weapons limits on combat rolls or physical limits on the other rolls, so a group has been formed to “do something” with all my excess Karma points that makes sense given my character’s backstory (published here as Character Backstory: The Old Man) without making me so OP that I break the game.

And the reason I didn’t mention the fall last post was I didn’t hurt much and I had to rush the post to be ready for the game.

Then Monday I just watched the races I had recorded Saturday and Sunday, then Tuesday I went and deposited paper checks and got another massage to try to work out the kinks from the fall and found a bunch of bruises I missed because they didn’t show on the surface, and other injuries like I made my right buttcheek hurt somehow when I was trying to not-fall Sunday morning (don’t ask, I have no idea). Then Wednesday I had to access the messages from unemployment for the former tenant who can’t seem to find computer-literate friends at church anymore.

And that feels like enough words on the screen today.

It’s D-Day, go punch a Nazi and invade fascists

OK only punch Nazis where it is legal to do so, and I’m likewise a little fuzzy on invading fascists, but I’m assured that those both have long legal protections.

And somehow in all the years I have been doing this blog and the several times I have posted remembering D-Day I never tagged the day. OK fixed.

Today is the day we remember the Allied invasion of Nazi Europe on the beaches of Normandy, which is a phrase the is just packed. Nazi Europe was basically occupied territory that had been taken over by a literal invading army of Fascists to force a change of government to a more corporatist stance. You want to know why Post-war Europe was so close to becoming Communist? Nazis are why Post-war Europe almost went Communist. That’s how bad the Nazis were, they made Communism look really, really good. And that’s why we landed at Normandy to free Europe from the Nazis. Because they were that bad and also that whole invading and subjugating thing.

Getting back to the Communism thing, the Nazis were that bad that Soviet-style Communism looked fantastic by comparison, which is why we went with the Marshall Plan, to demonstrate the superiority of Capitalism. Didn’t work in the long run because most of Europe went with Democratic Socialism, which tempers the worst of Capitalism with the best of Communism so that “The People” come out ahead of the game, but the capitalists don’t do bad at all. It’s a compromise and like all compromises nobody got all they wanted, but everybody got something and it basically works out good for everyone except the multi-billionaires. Basically if Democratic Socialism works right there are no billionaires, much less multi-billionaires, because taxes are such that hoarded wealth is taxed out of existence to keep the economy going.

And how that works is a consumer economy only works when workers have the money to spend on things so that money stays flowing and people make things and get paid for making things and selling those things so that people can make more things and buy more things, ad infinitum. At some point people will get paid for turning old things into new things, because you can’t just use virgin materials forever because you run out. The only way we can keep the circus going is to start putting the old stuff in the spot we have mines and refineries now in the process. Not that we are going to put recycling centers where we physically have mines now, that would be silly. But recycling to bring the materials back to the beginning of the process is not silly, it is vital.

And I’m getting ready to play Shadowrun in a few minutes, so I’ll do the recap of the session tomorrow.

This computer has become painfully slow, but that’s not what I came here to say

OK when I sat down for the express purpose of writing a blog post it was 0219:19. It is now 0225:55 and all I did was open Chrome and select this page from Bookmarks. That’s almost 7 minutes to boot and open a specific web page. But that’s not what I came here to say.

I’m sitting here because some people (using the term as loosely as possible) in the TX Legislature think other people are not actually people. You know with inalienable rights and whatnot. People like women, BIPOC, and transgendered people are not really people in their eyes, they are property to be controlled. I don’t think I have to mention this is fundamentally wrong, but apparently I’m wrong because I need to mention (strange way to spell scream in their faces, but I’ll go with it) it to these people. These are real people that you are causing real harm to. Remember there is a corollary to the Golden Rule: Others will treat you as you treat them. Do GOP members of the TX Legislature really want to have their ID rejected at the polls and be refused access to a ballot? Or do they want to be forced to submit to a genital search to be allowed to use a toilet? Or do they want to be forced to donate organs because they no longer have bodily autonomy? Because this is what they require from BIPOC, transgendered people, and women in that order.

I mentioned this in a FB post, but the legislators who voted in favor of the Heartbeat Bill should all have to roll a d20 once a year every year for life, and if they roll a 20 then nothing happens to them that year, a 19 through 2 they donate one kidney to a matching person on the transplant list, and a Nat 1 means they donate both kidneys. I know what you’re going to say, “What if they already lost a kidney?” “What if they can’t live on dialysis for the rest of their lives when they lose both kidneys?” Well for some women not having the choice of an abortion is exactly the same as donating both kidneys to an unmatched donor. She dies, they die, and nobody profits. For a small, but growing, number of pregnancies the choice is a living mother who might be able to carry a different baby to term, or nothing. No mother, no baby, just the remains of a family destroyed for no good reason except to control women, consequences be damned.

Now if it wasn’t painfully obvious before I am a tree-hugging, freedom-loving Liberal Democratic Socialist. I believe in Capitalism With Limits as the means by which can be achieved the Greater Good, and the odd capitalization is on purpose. What we are seeing in this country is unrestrained capitalism and wealth hoarding, which is literally killing the Goose That Laid The Golden Eggs of the economy. The way the economy is set up money is made when people buy things, which creates money flow to other people who make and buy things and so on and so on, with the money flowing to the next guy, and some coming out in taxes so that some people get money to spend even though they don’t have jobs for one reason or another, but still have a place to live and food to eat because that also makes the economy move. But the problem is some people act like all the money is their money and refuse to let any go to other people, but don’t or can’t spend the money a fast as letting other people spend it, and because of that the economy slows down, and the people who don’t spend don’t make as much, but still want it all so they take more money out of the economy from the other people only this time they are taking it away from the people who do have jobs, meaning there is even less money to run the economy.

So what we need to do is arrest and execute all of the worst offenders reform the tax code and employment laws so that living wages are paid to people who have jobs, and a fair share is taken in taxes from the people hoarding the wealth. The people hoarding the wealth will not feel any privation or even be denied a $300 million dollar superyacht (partially tax-deductible if none of your workers or any of the yacht-maker’s workers are below say 300% of the poverty line), but the people getting the money will also be lifted from poverty and need. Want may still exist, but if done right nobody will lack a place to sleep or food to eat. They might not have the best place to sleep, but it will be warm in the winter and cool in the summer, and have broadband access, and they will be able to cook in the kitchen.

And to end the post, a list of Flying Spaghetti Monster religious holidays for June:
June 1st Go Barefoot Day
June 2nd Laugh Like a Bad Guy Day
June 3rd Mushroom Sauce Day
June 4th Cougar Day
June 5th Doughnut Day
June 6th Adopt a New Phobia day
June 7th Capt. Jack Sparrow Impersonation Day
June 8th Be Annoyingly Cheerful Day
June 9th Bathe in Marinara Day
June 10th Flirting Day
June 11th Fish Day
June 12th Be Paranoid Day
June 13th Gin Day
June 14th Bourbon Day
June 15th Bad Joke Day
June 16th World Meat-free Day
June 17th Contact an Old Friend Day
June 18th Now Panic Day
June 19th Martini Day
June 20th World Juggling Day
June 21st World Humanist Day
June 22nd Marinara Sauce Day
June 23rd Parrot Pondering Day
June 24th Sexual Fantasy Day
June 25th Seafarer Day
June 26th Carbonara Day
June 27th Blue-Footed Booby Day
June 28th Tickle Day
June 29th Knitting Day
June 30th Just Another Day Day

I think I like the 5th, the 11th, and the 16th the best but not in that order.

Happy Pride Month

I’m a little late because of the circumstances recounted in the previous two posts, but happy Pride Month. I’m your basic cis-het male ally, lost count of the gay/trans/lesbian people we rescued off the streets, but still trying to get a handle on how I can help more people. About the only orientation/sexuality we haven’t put up for a night or a month has been Ace/aro, because for some reason people who don’t have sex with anyone don’t get tossed out of their homes by their parents. We also put up a few pagan people who got told to leave their homes for many reasons. There was a lot of crossover between Pagan and the LGBTQA community sleeping in our house.

Which is why we take people in and give them a place to sleep and get a bath/shower and a bite to eat. Many times they show up on our doorstep with only the clothes on their backs and a toothbrush, sometimes without even the toothbrush. But we take them in anyway, because we do what we can. Unless they are violent or otherwise disrespectful to other members of the house they have a place to stay. This is how we celebrate Pride in this house.

Time shifting again because meds

I’m trying to get my sleep schedule more diurnal because I have things to do Wednesday. So Tuesday I get to stay up all night/day so I’m awake when I need to be. The gabapentin is working for the neuropathy and the tinnitus, I don’t get leg twitches from neuropathy when I sleep, and the tinnitus is down to a dull whistle (I bet you thought I was going to type “roar”). But it makes me stay asleep too long so that I’m on what is basically a 26 hour “day”. With the gabapentin I get to sleep pretty quickly and basically just stay unconscious for over 9 hours, and basically stoned and unresponsive for another hour. So if I can stay awake until 1800 or so I’ll sleep until 0400, which is good for a week or two of daywalking.

I have to help the lady do her unemployment tomorrow, so I need to be awake when I do that. With my sleep schedule as borked as it is, I would not be awake when I was needed to do the data entry for her unemployment if I didn’t stay up at least until 1800 today. If I stay up until 2000 I’m even better. But I have to stay awake t leastuntil 1800and I’m already getting loopyfrom lack of sleep. And I thikit might be affecting my coordination a little.

And that became funny because Mrs. the Poet decided she wanted to wear the sports bra that takes 4 hands and two engineering degrees to get on and tucked in properly. And I’m 2 hands and degrees shy of requirements. So it was funny to get the bra over her head and around the boobies. Hysterical and not in the historical meaning of the word about women bereft of intelligence and sense, but in the funny until your sides ache sense. As in I get them in from the bottom then have to push them back down from the top, then left and right to get them in their individual stretchy pockets that they’re trying to escape from by still going over the top or out the bottom, because boobies are a non-Newtonian fluid.

Seriously, the East German powertools need painting, the hamhock needs cutting shorter so the lid will close on the crockpot, and I need to buy some allergy meds because I’m having trouble seeing through the goop in my eyes. And loopy, don’t forget I’m getting loopy because I’ve already been up 20 hours and I’m getting too old for this $#!+. So this is where I’ll end this post.

I hope you have a pleasant Memorial Day

And a reminder, Memorial Day is for the dead who served, Veteran’s Day is for the ones no longer serving but still among us, and Armed Forces Day is for those currently serving. And when I was a kid with a military parent I loved Armed Forces Day, because I got to apply all the good stuff I learned from the next door neighbor who was an Armorer (or Armorer’s Mate, it was like the mid-60s and I’ve been hit in the head several times since then) who would give me the comic books they used to teach stuff back then. I literally learned how to field-strip a machine gun from reading DoD published comic books, then applied said knowledge to the displays at Schofield Barracks. There is a picture of me somewhere in the archives of the Army Times of me aiming the machine gun I had just assembled from the display they had set out disassembled. As I was just 7 YO I didn’t have the hand strength to take it apart, but the requirements to put this one together are much less strenuous than taking one apart and I suspect this one was on display because it was worn out too far to use for anything other than “take apart and put together” displays. So my 7 YO hands were up to the task of putting it back together.

I watched the Coca-Cola “World 600” (I’m sorry but it will always be the “World 600” to me no matter who sponsors it) as it happened, but I recorded the Indy 500 and will watch that tomorrow. I already know Helio Castroneves won (thanks Fox Sports) but there is a huge gulf between knowing the winner and knowing what happened in the race. Kinda like the difference between knowing Kyle Larson won and knowing how many cautions there were and how many red flags and how many cars were on the lead lap at the end, etc. I’m sure there will be a synopsis posted on YouTube if there isn’t already, so I’ll steer you toward those and not spoil anything for you in this post. No promises about tomorrow’s post if there is one, I may have to go do stuff Tuesday.

One of the things that troubles me about surviving my wreck is the accelerated rate things go bad with my body. My doctor who put me back together warned me that I would age faster as a result of the damages that killed me in the wreck, which as I have mentioned elsewhere in this blog were extensive. Let’s just say that for the purposes of this post the fact that I died was not in doubt, the fact that I came back was somehow still in doubt if I wasn’t still breathing in front of you. As I posted, there is a full recounting of my injuries in a separate page listed at the top of the blog, you’ll figure out which one from the titles. Anywho what is bothering me this week is an injury I got after the wreck because of an injury I got during the wreck. I was doing a Chinese exercise and stretching class and over-stretched my right hip when I lost my balance doing a pose. Didn’t even hurt for several days after I fell, but a few weeks later I could barely move the leg and had to have help putting my socks on. This was when I was supposed to be taking care of my dad after his wreck that broke his shoulder (and his spirit) and not being able to move my foot where I could put my sock on made that difficult when we had to transport Dad to the hospital for treatment after I botched caring for him and his kidneys started to fail because I forgot to force him to drink water when he didn’t want to drink any water. Let’s just say I’m a terrible son and leave it go at that.

Anywho, that old injury is acting up again in a different way and I’m having issues with walking around. Basically one of the muscles that moves the hip and stabilizes me when I walk has decided that it no longer wants to work the hours I work and tries to take the rest of the day off before I’m done with it. This results in one of two things, I find a place to sit until this muscle recovers, or I fall on my face, or through a plate glass window, or the front storm door (that was a funny one, ha ha, still sweeping up the mess from that one) or basically whatever is least convenient personally or closest to me. Usually it is on my face. Makes taking walks for my health somewhat iffy as usually there is not enough warning that my leg is about to dump me on my face to do anything about it unless there are a number of things nearby to lean against and rest my leg. I mention this because I want to take walks for my health again and guess what, there are not many things to lean against or sit on in my neighborhood, because homeless people might use them? We have bus stops that should have benches because you might have to wait 60 minutes if you get there just as the bus goes by and there’s no driver for the other bus on the route. Anywho, I can walk about a quarter-mile at a go before my leg says time for a break, but the nearest leaning tree or post is 0.4 miles from the house, next to the bus stop going to the mall.

And, that is enough literally breathless prose for the day. Remember those who served the US until they couldn’t serve any more, and celebrate their service and sacrifice. And have a hamburger or hot dog in their honor, or sip a cold beer. Just don’t forget like the Republicans in Congress did about the Capitol Police who were killed or injured during the 1/6 insurrection everybody saw on TV.

Medication update

Not much to talk about tonight, just tracking the effects of the gabapentin on my various ailments and injuries.

I’m almost free of nerve pains after bedtime now, which is good. I’m not free of pains which is not good. I still get pains in my feet that are not the result of nerves not working to design specs, but appear to be from trauma from walking around. I’m also getting pains from muscles that don’t work right.

The really good news is my tinnitus is literally fading away, to the point that regular sounds feel way louder than they used to. When I get up regular sounds are like when I tried the hearing aids tuned for my hearing curve before the pandemic. The tinnitus comes squealing back as the day progresses, but those few hours without noise are heavenly.

That’s pretty much everything today, except there is a buttload of NASCAR and Indycar racing this weekend that I’m going to be glued to. I saw the CWTS race this evening including some scary wrecks when two cars running together had the lead car dodge and the driver of the trailing car not see what’s coming and pretty much shear off the right or left side of the truck down to the door bars. Actually the truck that hit the left side wasn’t too bad, one wheel and a little front sheetmetal. But the truck that hit on the right side was terrifying, everything was gone or broken.

And I’ll see you guys l8r.

I’m annoyed, again

My parts arrived yesterday after I posted my previous blog post about them, and after a quick test fit, they don’t fit.

I mean seriously don’t come even close to fitting, like several inches from fitting. I put one fan on the shroud in the upper right corner and traced the outline, then moved it to the lower left corner and traced again, and the result looked like the Venn diagram of racists and Republicans there was so much overlap. OK that was an exaggeration, but seriously there was way more overlap than I expected, which was none to nearly none. This had more than 2 inches of overlap at the widest point. The answer is the advertised size of the fans is the functional diameter of the fan, not the installed width. There is a slight radius at the base of the fan, plus a generous mounting flange that adds up to the mounted diameter of 14¾”, not the advertised 14″. Add in that the shroud was built to only handle a single, engine-driven fan and you can see how this all went to heck in a cargo bike.

So I have to return the dual fans and just get the biggest single electric fan and hope the ¾” mounting flange is a constant, or get two much smaller fans and live with it. That’s because the next size down from the 14″ is the 12″ which I’m still not convinced will fit after the fiasco with the 14″ so I’m probably going to go with two 10″ fans or the single 16″ fan that is the largest in the catalog and has a similar flow rating to 2 10″ fans and costs less. The other alternative is to trim the mounting flanges on the 14″ fans so they fit, but that voids the warranty and also makes them not returnable, ignoring the fact that they still might not fit, because of the taper of the shroud to make it work with engine-driven fans.

And as I was composing this post I got notice that there was yet another mass shooting in the USA, the only country that has mass shootings on the regular and isn’t a conflict zone. This time it was 8 dead in a San Jose CA light rail staging yard with an as yet unknown number of wounded, and also the shooter is dead but not included in the number of the dead. So as I write this that makes 9 total dead and an undisclosed number of injured, in the only major country where this happens on a regular basis.

And on that point, I’m outta here.

Trying to think straight through the fog

My new meds are starting to kick in, I didn’t have any neuropathy kicks or twitches last night and my tinnitus is getting quieter. But my sleeping is seriously borked because of the meds. I overslept and missed taking my laptop to get the bloatware removed because this med just knocks me out. Normally when I’m not getting sleep I’m not thinking too good, but for some reason when I get my coffee on this med I’m rarin’ to go, even though I’m still walking like an extra in a zombie movie. It’s the craziest thing, I’m thinking clear as a bell, but my legs and feet and fingers are acting like they never got out of the bed. I have been spending almost as much time fixing typos as writing because the fingers are only about 90% accurate in hitting the keys. And if you’re thinking “well that’s not too bad” just remember it takes a minimum of 3 keystrokes to fix a typo I catch immediately, and I’m averaging one mistake in 10 keystrokes. So, average of every 7 letters I have to fix something.

On a similar but not entirely related note, I love the verb “bork” when used in it’s non-sexual meaning of seriously SNAFUed. This is one of the few contributions to the English language from a SCOTUS confirmation that has survived longer than a couple of years.

On a brighter note, the cooling fans are going to fit the fan shroud nicely. One will fit in the upper right side next to the inlet for maximum heat transfer from the water coming from the engine, and the other will fit on the lower left to get as much as physics will allow from the second pass across the radiator. The idea here is to keep the coolant going into the engine as cool as possible to keep the combustion chambers cool for either best power or best fuel economy depending on which mode the engine is in. Don’t you just love thermodynamics working for you for once? And in case you don’t understand how this works, the formula for heat transfer from a radiator has the fluid temperature in the top half of the equation, meaning the hotter it is the more heat it transfers to the airflow. Which means most of the heat comes from the first pass across the double pass radiator, and by careful fan placement I can maximize that transfer for the lowest possible outlet temperature.

Going off on a tangent, current writing jam is “Dear Mr. Fantasy” by Traffic. There is an interesting dynamic that is peculiar to depressed people in the lyrics, how we use comedy to hide our depression. “You are the one that can make us all laugh, but doing it you break down in tears.” This was me for decades, “Laugh, clown, laugh!” while hiding my depression with comedy. “I love how your poetry makes me laugh,” for years.

Anywho, while I’m waiting on the parts to arrive I’m figuring out how they will be installed in the car, because what else can I do except write about it?

So, how was your day?