This is our annual April Fools chaos service. This is as much an homage to the weather in Texas as it is to anything else. About the only thing we haven’t had for this service has been snow. And I think an actual tornado because we hold the service too early in the day for one of those, but we have had watches in effect for later in the day. So we have weather chaos, congregation chaos, outsider chaos, just about any kind of non-destructive chaos you can imagine. Today we have “No toilets” chaos. And somehow we have managed to control and somewhat harness that chaos for the benefit of the church and the larger community.
Now join with me as we call the quarters in the traditional April Fool’s fashion.
East: Yo! Air! Here, quarter quarter quarter! We wanna breathe here, and think. Y’all come!
South: Yo! Fire! Here quarter quarter quarter! Let’s warm things up with some passion. Y’all come!
West: Yo! Water! Here quarter quarter quarter! Let’s splash around and feel things emotionally. Y’all come!
North: Yo! Earth! Here quarter quarter quarter! It’s time to get down and dirty and be stable. Y’all come!
Center: Yo! Center! The gods might be crazy, so send them here to party! We light a beacon so we can enjoy their company. Y’all play nice now. Open beer and place on altar
Aphrodite: Your contributions to chaos are many and varied, most notable your son/daughter Hermaphroditus. We love you, just like you love us, so everybody love everybody as you join our party and ritual.
Play “Duck Amuck” Video
Yes, who is responsible for this? I demand to know. My life seems like a series of short stories or at most novellas written by different writers intent on different things, including changing the name of the main character in the middle of the story. And such starkly unbelievable stuff as surviving getting hit by a truck doing 60 MPH and only spending 13 days in hospital before sorta walking out. I mean who does that outside of a work of fiction? That is literally a million to one shot. And that’s not the only unbelievable thing that has happened in my life, just the most recent. I demand script approval and rewrite privileges. Or I would if I could find the freaking writer.
Sometimes we bring the chaos on all by ourselves, which I have also done. For instance the lovely bride who graces my life was somewhat forced there by a combination of stupid mistakes, mine, hers, and ours. But somehow we survived it anyway and we have been together for almost 40 years. I’m sure the rest of you can tell similar tales of preventable mistakes that had life-altering consequences for you and yours. It happens to everybody. But we survive, and sometimes prosper, in spite of and sometimes because of our mistakes. We live through it, and we move on.
Candles of “Why did I do that?” To share how this works, light a candle while sharing a mistake that ended up helping your life in the long run.
While this is going on blow bubbles from the altar.
Pass basket while sharing announcements.
Announce that there will be no pot luck this evening
Dismiss Aphrodite with gratitude for controlling the various guest deities with her expansive love.
Center: We thank all the various deities who have graced today’s circle. Go in peace, at least until you get past the property line. Then you become somebody else’s problem.
North: Thank you for lending your stability in these times of chaos. You may leave with our gratitude.
West: Thank you for lending your calming emotions to these times of chaos. You may leave with our gratitude.
South: Thank you for lending your passion and transformation to these times of chaos. You may leave with our gratitude.
East: Thank you for lending your intellect and communication in these times of chaos. You may leave with our gratitude.
The circle is open, but unbroken. Merry meet, to merry part, to merry meet again! Blessed be, and don’t forget to turn your phones back on.
Love the “why did I do that?” candles…
You’re not the only one. It proved to be very cathartic to the congregants.