I had my first game with the new RPG group (the “kinky” game), and I can foresee problems already. Not with the game, but with working the game in with my weekly schedule. I was in the middle of cooking beans when the text came in that RPG was “on” for tonight if I was interested, which meant I had to get most of the actual “cooking” part done before I could leave and then grab some beans when I got home after game finished. And I never got to the Feed Folder in my inbox, so I will be dealing with 4 days worth of links when I do the post later today (I’m composing this at 0045), yay!
Now, about the game. Everybody died in the first encounter. No kidding, we encountered some kind of plant-based tentacle monster that was a cross between a Venus Flytrap and a bad hentai manga, that started out cleaning the stable by eating 3 horses, and ended up with 4 adventurers and a town guard NPC as a final course. This caused a reset because, well it’s a really bad game session when you get the entire party eaten before they even get a chance to introduce themselves as characters.
Reset went better with better rolls for everybody and slightly better tactics because we learned the sleeping rooms at the inn were on the side overlooking the stables and the monster could be seen from the visiting men’s room window, so I used Eldritch Blast from the window until it reached up to grab me then used a paralyzing invocation on the creature until it actually got paralyzed and then just kept throwing EB at it until it died. The creature would only take full damage from magical attacks or bludgeoning weapons, poking holes in it with swords or arrows would only cause partial damage and if you didn’t get enough damage in it would heal up and you were back to where you started, which was what got everybody killed the first time because I was the only one that wasn’t using a sword or bow on the creature (including the NPC town guard that got eaten because we took too long to kill the creature before the reset). The mayor of the town was impressed that we managed to kill the creature which was just the latest of a worsening monster infestation, which was causing the town major problems because they were not a big enough or established long enough to have a stockade or stone wall around the town to keep the monsters out.
While we were tracking down the source of the monsters, we had an encounter with a creature made entirely from discarded or lost magical items. When we defeated the creature all the magical items were left lying on the ground and I used my Warlock abilities to try to find out what they were. I found one that seemed like it would still work, and seemed to be a belt of Giant Strength. It was actually a cursed belt of gender swapping which I discovered when I put it on. Now I need to find someone who can break a curse from a cursed item. And apparently my character is a pretty good-looking woman now, because the female-liking female members of the party thought it would be a great idea to seduce me… My character was the only male member of the party that fought the plant-creature and survived the reset, all the other surviving party members were female and we were “introduced” during battle at the inn where we were staying.
And that’s where the line “now with 33% more estrogen” came from in the headline.
PSA, Opus
Witch on a Bicycle 