I don’t know if it’s just allergies or something worse

As it says in the headline, I’m having a medical problem I can’t define. Sometimes allergies will affect my speach and make certain consonants difficult to pronounce, but lately I’m having more and more troubles with just getting the words out above and beyond the brain damage induced aphasia. I mean with the aphasia I know the concept I’m trying to convey, but not the word or words that mean that concept. This case I know the word or words but I have difficulty pronouncing the words correctly, there are slurred syllables and missing consonants or entire syllables. It’s like I forgot how to talk. This scares me.

Seriously, words have been my life for almost 20 years now starting as a spoken word poet back in the late 1990s, and progressing to bicycle activism 2004-present. I could fight through the aphasia because I knew the right word was inside my head somewhere, all I had to do was find it. This is something different, something worse. This is my body not doing what I tell it to do, stuff that I have been doing all my life. This is literally on a par with forgetting how to ride a bike, or how to walk. I had to learn how to walk again after the wreck, but that was mostly due to the massive nerve damage rewiring where I felt things in response to walking, and my brain “fixing” that by learning where things were connected now (although I still get itches on the front of my ankle when I need to scratch the back of my foot). This is worse, this is literally having to think about how my mouth moves when I talk when I should be thinking about the words I’m trying to string together into a coherent sentence, paragraph, statement.

Fortunately I can still type normally even if I sound like I have a mouth full of marbles when I talk. Or maybe not and I catch it in editing, but still, the words that get published are done right.

Billed @€0.02, Opus


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