Daily Archives: April 2, 2021

I’m not dead, but this feels familiar

I have been daywalking since Wednesday. For those not familiar “daywalking” is the vampire term for being up after sunrise. And also for those not familiar I have a customer loyalty card for Charon’s ferry service with a free spa day at the Elysian Fields resort and spa after the next 4 times I die. So being dead is not unusual for me, it just isn’t a frequent thing. And when I’m daywalking it feels a lot like when I was dead, like April Fools is just another day and all that is just part of a normal day.

I finished the taxes today, and for a guy who doesn’t have a steady income, I sure get a lot of taxes withheld. I’m getting back over a grand, $1K, a kilobuck, on whatever I made last year, which as I recall was not as much as I’m getting back. Don’t ask me, I never understood my finances since the wreck. Basically it looks like money just appears in my bank account after I do something fun and useful. I don’t recall actually working last year, I didn’t get any gigs from the company that gets me stuff cleaning up machine translated documents as the “Christmas Rush” starts about the same time as the pandemic hit. This is because the schedules for making stuff for Christmas is about a year behind actual Christmas. Designs begin in mid-to-late December, ad copy and packaging starts in February, I start getting stuff to clean up in late March through September and my “pay” comes August through November. The pay I get is in the form of store-specific gift cards like Amazon or other on-line retailers that since it is non-fungible is also not taxable. So this is from the IRA, or something else connected with the trust fund, or just appeared in my tax return out of nowhere. And you know what? “Just appeared out of nowhere” seems like “Peak 2020” to me right now. So many strange things happen to me recently that returns on taxes I didn’t know were withheld from income I don’t remember getting is in a bizarre way, normal.

I better check my customer loyalty card to see if I have any more checks on it, I might have died again. Nope, still four more trips to go for my premium. So, I at least didn’t get killed again in 2020.🤔

On the other strange thing going on I’m still getting 18 YO and up women sending me nudes and topless pictures through Facebook and other social media sites I’m on, at least I hope they over 18. Not that I object to getting pictures from/of attractive women, it’s just that so many of them think I will find them more attractive when their cup size is D or higher, and to be totally honest I have had more than enough of big boobed women. I have had lady friends in the F-J range, and even Mrs. the Poet is a D on a bad day and DD or larger on a good day. If you want to impress me, be of age and an A cup and don’t “enhance” it. Be proud of who you are and what you have, even if that means standing twice to cast a shadow, and never wondering if you got polish on all your toenails, or never having to contort to see to tie your shoes. You’re not flat, you’re streamlined for reduced fuel consumption. You’re “fun-sized”, “convenient travel sized”, “no leftovers single-serve”. And not coincidentally, you haven’t been sending me pictures on social media, either.

Mrs. the Poet has her second shot

And I’m almost done with the taxes. If the literature and web sites are to be believed Mrs. the Poet will be 99% protected in about 2 weeks, and I can relax about giving her COVID19 from some random encounter with a maskless person on the street. According to the literature I’m 80% protected with my first shot of Moderna.

I wasn’t planning on doing any 4/1 jokes, but this was too good to pass up. And FYI the cars involved wreck when they drive on the grass beside the track.

If I was going to do a 4/1 parody post I would do a tirade about cyclists not paying taxes to use the roads, which there are several examples from others linked in the pages of this blog. But partially because I linked so many of those tirades and pages debunking said tirades, I don’t feel like it.

And I’m literally falling asleep at the keyboard after doing another 36+ awake marathon so I would be awake for Mrs. the Poet’s trip to her shot, so in spite of less than 200 words I’m ending it here.