Monthly Archives: November 2021

No game again today too many people out of town with no internet

Once again I’m unable to play Shadowrun because other people have lives outside of RPG and Urban Fantasy. They are with friends and/or family out of town and are not connected to the internets. Also I face a conundrum as MS has offered me a free upgrade to Windows 11 on this over 4 year old machine and I don’t know if I should accept it. The offer is sitting on the bar under the workspace along with the battery status bar and Weatherbug, if you have a computer and not reading this on a phone you know what I’m talking about. The conundrum is: this computer is running fine with 10 and I really don’t want to mess it up, but there are things that could be done in 11 that can’t be done in 10.

Still unable to get anything done on the Sprint-T, but the concept of using drillium on the front axle leaves open the possibility of making holes. I have already determined the best way of doing this with the tools I have at hand or within easy purchase. First I need to mark one side of the axle with a centerline of the tube, then a centerline for the axle then mark an area for the axle brackets that has to remain solid (no holes) then mark every 1.5″ for holes, then drill pilot holes through the tube using the drill press to make the holes through the tube of the axle perpendicular, then use a step drill to get them to 0.75″ diameter. Shouldn’t take more than 3 days including set up and cleanup.

In completely unrelated news I finally figured out how to use the airfry setting on the new stove we got last year. Using this we got crispy brown french fries earlier last week after getting slightly soggy fries from the same bag before. I take my victories where I get them. And this time it was in the form of french fries that came out of the oven crispy and brown without being overcooked.

Veering to another topic, I have an opening for a live-in girlfriend. Mrs. the Poet has decided since she can’t fulfill my physical needs I should be allowed to have someone who will in the house. The position comes with a bed and a bedroom, kitchen and laundry privileges, and free WiFi. Duties will include hugs and kisses and regular naked time as the woman desires but at least once a month. Note that I won’t force the issue on naked time, but it will be a requirement for living rent-free. Not forcing the issue on naked time is what got me to this state in the first place. If you have a work-from-home job and want to relocate to a gentler but unpredictable climate the weather in Texas is usually mild, February’s deep freeze was an exception. Note that this is a female-only offer, I’m not that bi.

Ever have an anger you just can’t put into words?

This week has been rough for me. Between the Rittenhouse verdicts and my personal medical issues and buying Thanksgiving dinner I’m just all ravelled ends.

Starting with the punk with a gun hunting protesters, I do not understand how they came to the verdicts, he crossed state lines, with a weapon that he was too young to carry, looking to find somebody to shoot, and he found somebody to shoot and kill. He had no reason to be there armed unless he was hunting protesters. And the fact that the one charge that he was guilty of without a doubt was dismissed, well the fix was in.

My personal health issues are my hips hurt constantly now, and my fingers don’t work sometimes, as in I hit the wrong keys or no keys when I think I did and have to go back and edit what I typed way too much. Basically my pain level is 3 or higher on a 0-10 scale and sometimes other joints/muscles decide to join the chorus, like my knuckles right now. It’s not even cold, only 73°F in my office according to my desktop clock/thermometer.

Also on the health issues list is my need for touch and affection not getting met. I have no doubts that is contributing to my other pains being worse than I would otherwise be. All I’m looking for is some skin contact and lady orgasms. Seriously, that’s also about all I can manage physically because of my knees. Absolutely no danger of getting anyone pregnant from an encounter with me. And that’s another reason I’m angry, a big chunk of my arsenal of fun things to do with people doesn’t work.

Throw that together with can’t afford to finish the Sprint-T and you get an amorphous mass of anger and frustration. Just all wound up and nothing to let it out on, not even role playing games. Our Shadowrun session was put off because half of the group is dealing with medical or mental issues that prevent joining the game Discord. So I can’t kill imaginary enemies with equally imaginary weapons. When I can do this it is an incredibly effective stress reduction, also the in-game concept that my character has a personal DMZ between two gangs that he enforces with a combination of carrots and sticks and the fact that he’s effectively immortal, he can be killed but he also can’t stay dead for long. He has a habit of coming back during open casket viewings/eulogies quoting Monty Python.

And I just had an idea of a game arc that might be fun, we get a TPK and I have to guide everyone back from the Land of The Dead to the our world. If the DM does it right it could be quite an adventure. We also have a bunch of people who have old characters they don’t want to play that this could be a good way to permanently dispose of. They just can’t/don’t want to leave the Land of The Dead. Presto, unwanted character is no longer playable without a seance. Also I could possibly get a punch on my customer loyalty card from Charon for everybody in the party and get that spa day at the Elysian Fields Resort for (another) 10 trips. 😈 That would be interesting gameplay.

The Sprint-T project is on a mad dash to nowhere because of lack of budget because windows that can be seen through and don’t leak air are more important, and because I still haven’t won the lottery or Powerball or Megamillions. And inflation has taken a serious bite out of my budget, period. On a serious note, sending money through my Ko-Fi is a good way to support the Sprint-T, you can even leave a note saying what you want me to spend it on.

And I see I have written enough words to make an interesting post and few enough to not be boring, so this is s good spot to put this post to bed.

This is Texas, where we have the heat come on in the morning and the AC in the afternoon

Yep, when I was going to bed last night the heat came on, and just before lunch this afternoon the AC came on, on the 17th of November. And before anyone says anything the heat comes on when it drops below 70°F inside, and the AC comes on above 76°F inside. We have relatively good insulation so to get the inside temperature to swing that much requires about a 40° swing in outdoor temperatures.

In other “news” that isn’t really news, my hips still hurt, my knees still hurt, and I still need a massage because my neck won’t turn very far. I’ll probably get the massage Thursday now that a few bucks have been freed up in the budget because the window replacement has been delayed until December 1st. That puts about $300 back in the budget for stuff that doesn’t go to keeping us fed and a roof over our heads. Usually this part of the budget gets robbed to pay for the other things, so actually having any money in it is rare.

Something I almost forgot to put here is I’ll be participating in another study starting Monday next Wednesday. I don’t know what I’ll be testing but it starts with a fasting blood draw. So maybe something related to cholesterol or blood sugar? IDK I’m just happy to be advancing science in some small way.

On the Sprint-T front, I have found that a hydraulic hand brake system for drift cars will also work as a hand clutch for a hydraulic throwout bearing. And to make it a push or pull release only requires deciding which way I set up the handle. This makes the hand clutch super easy to do because all the design and fabrication have already been done, all I have to do is buy and install. Now the hand clutch only takes care of starting and stopping, I’ll still have to buy a transmission that can be shifted without using the clutch. But there is a faced and plated gearset for the T5 that can do that and doesn’t add any weight, so we’re good, except for money.

Also on the Sprint-T, I’m working on the seat slider that adjusts the seat back and forth for people with longer legs than mine to drive the car. There aren’t many people with shorter legs who are old enough to be legal to drive, because I’m built like Fred Flintstone. Seriously I lost a full ride scholarship because my torso was too long to close the canopy on an F4 Phantom if I was in the RIO seat AKA “Back Seat Driver”. Long, sad story that I won’t relate here.

Anywho, I need to set the sliders far enough apart that the release lever works on both sliders but close enough together that the bracket is wider than the seat but not narrower than the sliders. This is another result of my having non-standard dimensions. I bought the adult-sized seat with the narrowest butt pocket and had to modify the seat to fit my chest and shoulders because of course it didn’t fit anything except my hips, kinda sorta. I will still need more padding to fill the space between my hips and the seat, but not as much as I would have if I bought a seat to fit my chest and shoulders. But back to the project at hand, I need to set up the sliders at the correct width, set the seat on them to see how much extra I have to work with and bend up some strap stock to bolt to the seat and sliders, then drill and bolt everything together. I know the seat will need to get holes for the bracket, the bracket needs holes for the seat and the sliders, and I need to buy a whole bunch of stainless steel bolts so things don’t get crusty.

And this feels like a good place to end this post.

I’m still in a mood

I’m low-level angry, also same in pain, also same in need of hugs and kisses, and I think there is a correlation. I think the angry and lack of hugs and kisses are related, as well as the angry and in pain. Basically I’m angry and in pain because I’m not getting hugs and kisses on anything approaching regular and they are on a feedback loop making each other worse. The pains are making me more angry which prevents me from getting hugs and kisses because it turns off my partner, which makes me more angry because no hugs or kisses… Ad infinitum. They all basically make the other worse in a vicious cycle, and until I can figure out a way of breaking the chain I’m up the unsanitary tributary without visible means of locomotion. And everything still hurts.

Now it’s not severe pain, it’s just kinda achy and uncomfortable. On a scale of 1 to “you’re here and your leg is over there” out of 10 I’m about a 3, edging on 4. I know it hurts but I can still do stuff pretty well in spite of it hurting when I try to do stuff. Also I haven’t gotten violent yet, even though I want to because nothing has crossed over that threshold yet. My state of mind is I don’t want to hurt anybody I just want the pains to stop. Also I’m not violent because I don’t have anything to get violent against. All my pains have long outlived their causes. The guy who broke my hip, dead. The truck he used was scrapped in 2002. The train incident was a decade ago. The tumor was removed from my neck in 2015. Basically I don’t have anything left to punch over my medical issues, so I don’t.

I’m so tired of things hurting all the time or at random times

Seriously, my hips hurt in a dull ache almost 24-7 now, my knees hurt sharply at random times throughout the day, and now my bone scar from the truck wreck throws a sudden spike of pain in the works at unpredictable intervals. I resigned myself to aches and pains, just not constantly. Seriously, this makes me want to hurt somebody.

We had a good game today as a one shot in Shadowrun because we had two players and the GM out for various reasons including illness and family gatherings. It was out of continuity so we didn’t get rewards outside of getting to play today, which was enough for me. I actually got to use my katana this game for something other than frightening children and other helpless people. Now that I’m ranked up in blades I can actually cause some useful damage with my sword.

This is funny. I’m eating ice cream and wearing (just) shorts and fuzzy slippers (because my feet are always cold), and Mrs. the Poet just got out her Fisherman’s Sweater because she’s cold all over. She already has long sweatpants, long sleeve shirt, socks and fuzzy slippers, and she’s cold enough that she had to drag out the heavy sweater. I wonder if we live in the same reality sometimes. I know we do, but the difference in how we dress for the temperature makes me wonder.

I have one of my playlists from YTM playing right now, my electro swing list suggested from the app. Single genre playlists work best for me because I like so many that unless I specify one I get either a bunch of one genre that I get bored with quickly, or pure crap from several styles of music. It’s amazing to me that YTM can find absolute dreck in so many styles of music one piece right after another. By selecting one particular genre I usually get a long string of decent music. Also music that I like has changed over the years, as a fer-instance I used to really like Kansas but now I can’t stand them, ditto Chuck Mangione. What ended Mangione for me was discovering two cuts on one album that were almost identical except one was ornamented and the other was played straight, the melodies were identical. How he managed to have a half-century career totally escapes me.

In other news I’m still making absolutely no progress towards completing the Sprint-T. Same as before, no money for parts or raw stock. Also I can’t do detail work on the design without an engine that defines where most of the stuff goes. I would be pulling my hair, except my depression has made me apathetic about a project that is older than the moon landing. Some days I’m enthusiastic about it, but today is not one of those days. I have too many things weighing down on me, see the first paragraph of this post.

Anywho, this has dragged on long enough, plus my swollen feet are starting to hurt now, so this seems like a good place to stop writing and go to bed and wait for the 5 pill cocktail of 3 different pain meds to kick in and put me to sleep.

Still angry, still trying to get things done

OK what I’m angry about is a dearth of female companionship in spite of being married. I haven’t cavorted with a naked woman since March, and the time before that was about a year ago. The last time I went this long without female companionship I went to jail. The only reason it hasn’t happened this time is we go months without seeing anyone except our son and the register workers at the grocery. I basically don’t have enough time to interact with anyone to commit a crime.

In less unhappy news, I got nothing. Literally there is nothing going on that I can report. “Losing the lottery” is literally the most newsworthy thing that has happened this week. Right after that is I’m getting muscle twitches in my fingers that make it hard to type on my phone without hitting lots of typos. And I don’t know what is causing it, but so far using the keyboard on my laptop is still chugging along nicely. And right when I typed that I had to delete a whole sentence because I missed almost all the vowels. I didn’t hit the wrong letters I just didn’t hit any letters where the vowels went.

Well, there is one good thing to report, neither the heat nor the AC has come on during the day, and only early in the morning does the heat come on. So we should get another great electric bill next month. (waving tiny imaginary flag) Yay.

And I think I might be a tiny bit depressed today, big surprise.

In other news I’m still not getting anything done with the Sprint-T because of no parts or raw materials or tools to do anything with them if I had them. And TBH I also don’t have the spoons even if I had the tools and raw materials.

Basically the only reason I don’t suicide is because I know it won’t work. Depression is Hwll. I should know I have been depressed since Nixon…

No surprise, I’m still p’

Both the lottery tickets I walked to the store to purchase yesterday came up as dry holes with no matching numbers. I’m unsurprised at the event. So I’m still at the point I can’t buy a vowel, so I’m p’.

Other news this is Veteran’s Day, tip of the hat to my fellow vets. My military career was distinguished mainly by how many ways I found to destroy my knees, to the point that during PT runs I was told to run out of formation because my creaky knees were creeping everyone out wondering how I was still upright. Or something like that, it’s been almost 40 years ago at this point.

Still trying to find an engine for the Sprint-T, hoping for something lightweight with an aluminum block and heads to keep the weight down, but if I was given an SBC with iron heads, or if I was to win that Hemi from this contest I wouldn’t object because free engine is better than no engine by a long shot.

Other stuff we are supposed to be getting the first installment of the new windows in a couple of weeks. This will require moving stuff around from in front of the windows, easier said than done at this point because my body is reminding me of all those times I abused my hips and knees and shoulders since birth. Basically I’m 63 years old and died at least once that has been documented and some other times that I was dead but nobody saw me dead. And because I can’t tell the difference between being dead and being unconscious unless someone checks for a pulse while I’m out and tells me what was up I have one confirmed death, and 4 or 5 suspected deaths.

And it just hit me about the absurdity of that phrasing, “Yeah I was confirmed dead once, but there were 4 or 5 other times I might have died but nobody checked.” You might say I have had a strange life. That’s what you would say if you didn’t like to use profanities. But as I look back with or without profanity my life reads like bad fiction. Or surrealist poetry, like this song. I like this song, but it is super strange. And so is this one.

And this seems like a good time to put this one to bed.

Walked to the C-store for lottery tickets

I walked about 1.1 miles round trip to purchase hope for a more comfortable future for us and the grandkid. And before anyone says anything about odds and statistics might I remind you your author survived getting hit not once, not twice, but three times getting hit by motor vehicles with enough velocity to cause the vehicles to get scrapped, and the last time I was hit the truck was going between 45 and 65 MPH with a “best confidence” speed of 60, based on my trajectory.

Anyway, the jackpot for the Texas Lotto is $9 million, which works out to just over $200K/year after taxes, which is quite enough to finish the hot rod and fix everything in the house in 2 years, and then just veg for the next 28 years to leave as much as possible for the grandkid.

The jackpot for the Powerball is enough to fix everything and make 3 or 4 cars in the first year and then spend the next 20 or so years bumming around the world, and still leave the grandkid with more than enough to live on forever.

Either one will be enough to get my teeth fixed, and by “fixed” I mean bite and chew like when I was a kid, but take them out at night for a good soak to get them cleaner than I ever could in my mouth. Seriously, I never did get the hang of brushing my teeth without some kind of a guide to show me where I missed. Soaking in some kind of cleaning solution is a much better alternative for me. And then swishing mouth wash to clean my gums, because I’m too ticklish to brush my gums.

I have a bunch of stuff that needs fixing medically, but that’s more of a long-term project, because I don’t heal like I used to. And I have been delaying maintenance for so long most of this shit is going to require surgery and years of PT to fix. If I had been able to get medical care without having to come up with mountains of cash most of this stuff could have been fixed with therapy instead of surgery. But that was then and this is now, maybe.

Forcing myself to actually care about something

I think that’s something old people have a problem with, finding something to actually give a shit about as they get older. Also I’m dealing with something that’s making my damaged hip hurt, so there’s that, too.

What I have been thinking about for something to do is looking up stuff that might be useful for building the Sprint-T. The price of that upgraded T5 transmission is $3600, this week. But it only weighs 77 pounds, 2 pounds more than the stock T5. That’s pretty good for a 67% increase in rated torque capacity from 300-500 pound-feet. Most of the increase in capacity comes from upgraded materials, with the rest from slightly larger gears.

While I was it it I also looked up the weight difference between the straight axle and the independent front suspension. Actual weight on the tires is about the same, but the ratio of sprung to unsprung weight change is huge, mainly because each wheel only has half of the unsprung weight as opposed to both wheels having all the unsprung weight with the straight axle. If I got my sums right the independent suspension is 5 pounds more than the straight axle, with most of that in the frame where the suspension attaches, brackets and bracing not needed with the straight axle.

There’s also a bit more weight for the moving parts in my design because I like to have the lower arm almost a center pivot with pretty much no change in track with suspension movement. That means there will be some bump steer as the instant center moves during suspension travel and the tie rod can’t point at the point where a line drawn between the upper and lower control arms intersects so it has a different arc than the place where it attaches to the spindle. That also means the lower control arm goes halfway across the car, which makes it heavy. I’m still thinking I want to make the lower arm shorter than that just to reduce weight because it doesn’t make that much difference for the geometry of the front wheel travel. But I’ll have to buy some suspension CAD program to play around with the suspension arms to see where the crossover point between long and short control arms is for the Sprint-T.

And for everybody who reads the tags, the weather today has been wonderful, warm enough to not require heat, but cool enough to not require AC. We get about 2 to 3 weeks like this twice a year here, and we just bask in it. The electric bill is almost nothing as we only have to pay for keeping the water heater going for showers and dishes and washing hands.

I’m sick, still

As the headline said, I’m unwell. I have aches and pains, always tired, and no appetite. And no enthusiasm for anything.

As a “fer-instance” we just finished Championship Weekend for NASCAR. Three days of intense racing and barnburner finishes, that I had to fight to stay awake through. Congrats to the winners and champions, I just wish I could remember who you are. Except Kyle Larson, fuck his racist ass.

Nothing new on the Sprint-T or Mini Sprint-T. The former’s stalled for lack of parts, the latter for lack of enthusiasm. I have the parts, tools, and raw stock to have the build done in a couple of days, a week at most, but getting the enthusiasm to actually do something about it? YAWN

I know where part of this comes from, Mrs. the Poet does not feel good and everytime I try to get amorous with her I get shunned or slapped. But that’s not enough to cover all of it. My usual levels of depression don’t cover it either, not even combined with the lack of a love life. Long story abridged too short for Reader’ Digest, there are multiple things taking a whack at my ability to do things. And I have nothing I can do to correct the situation.

I know this is way short of my usual gabfest where I go on for several hundred to a thousand words, but I just don’t have it in me today.