Daily Archives: December 12, 2021

Mrs. the Poet, “You sure know a lot of crazy people.”

By which she means I belong to a gaming group that has zero neurotypical people in it, including me. One person is depressed verging on manic depressed when her meds are off, there is at least one autistic person, one person with narcolepsy, and me with a plethora of issues ranging from untreated PTSD, and TBI, to a whole range of relationship issues that also date back to my childhood as a Military Brat during the Cold War. Also we have a person with SAD who gets really bonkers this time of year without massive amounts of very bright light during the day.

I mean this group is potentially a volume of APA papers, in that we find community with all of our differences. And the problems we have had because of our differences. And I think we are more tolerant with the members of the group than ourselves because we know others are having ongoing situations that are not crises, but are ongoing problems that may never resolve. I know that autism doesn’t “get better” but that the people with it do learn better ways of coping, which is similar to amputees learning to operate their prosthesis better not being the same as regrowing missing limbs. Being more capable at dealing with the disability =/= “getting better”. And there are situations where neurodivergent people are better able to handle them than “normal” people, which is why we exist. If there was no survival benefit for the traits, they wouldn’t get passed down.

Anyway, we didn’t have a game today (again) because the GM ran out of spoons for the week, yesterday. He works for Dell Computer and literally works almost 5 days a week solid, because he can’t turn off his brain from work, and sometimes when it’s time for game there’s nothing left in the tank for playing RPG. It sucks, but that’s the way it is. One might as well complain about humidity and gravity as complain about his lack of ability to do things outside of work because of his work.

My current situation is also “functional” but not good. I’m alive, but I’m not enjoying it. I really need physical affection, but I lack access, and the ability to access what physical affection I have access to. That means there are people who would share physical affection but they would only share it if I could have missionary sex with them, which I can’t because of my orthopedic issues in my knees and hips. I’m more of a cuddler these days. Which is not what these people want.

In other news I checked the official list of who’s naughty and nice, and I’m not on either side, so when Santa asks, tell him I’m nice.