Category Archives: rant

Been having problems getting it together to write

Basically I’ve been too distracted to write. The racing season just started with the 24 Hours of Daytona and the hype preceding it, the RPG group is assaulting an eldritch horror disguised as a convenience store, and my card was blocked because Fraud Detection flagged a project on Kickstarter, but the operator had a thick accent that basically removed the letter “r” from her vocabulary so she pronounced it “kickstop” and I didn’t know what the heck that was (and the project was Australian so that’s the country they flagged so I was very confused and also several hours away from normal waking up which added to the confusion).

Going in chronological order we start out with the Fraud Protection waking me up shortly after sunrise Saturday when I had only been asleep a little over an hour because of annoying aches and pains from my damaged nerves feeling like I was getting stabbed with burning knives (I forgot to mention neuropathy has been getting worse since the start of the year), so I wasn’t really “with it” to begin with, and then it bothered me so much I didn’t get to sleep the rest of the day. So I did the grocery shopping also in a daze because Saturday. I remembered to get most of the stuff on the list plus the spaghetti sauce and the green pepper. Then I watched the first part of the 24 mostly catching the action, then fell into bed.

I slept for about 10 hours and woke up to catch the last 2 hours of the 24 to see Helio Castroneves drive the last stint to win the race with a wreck behind him on the last lap. Then I had another cup of tea and fired up the electronics for the RPG game, which my character spent most of this session plugged into the car waiting to go Pink Mohawk as we tried to infiltrate the Omega Mart in McKinney that was Physically Too Big on the inside, was also a Matrix Server, and had some weirdness on the Astral Plane so it was spooking a number of magic users, hackers, and other people who had just enough resonance to pick up the weirdness but not know what it was. My character does not fall in any of those categories so he doesn’t feel a thing beyond his normal out-of-phase with reality getting killed 16 (or 26 or 36) times has gotten him to. Everything feels “off” to him, but somehow he muddles through it. When we had to quit because of time we had just rolled for initiative getting ready to fight something we didn’t know what it was because it was different on the material plane, the astral, and the Matrix. And we had been hired to destroy the convenience store anyway because people had been spooked and didn’t want it near them and Zoning couldn’t do anything because zoning laws are toothless in the Shadowverse. Anywho when we left off I had just jacked out of the van and threw a magazine of HE into the grenade launcher because I was supposed to take out things on the Material Plane and let other team members worry about the Matrix and Astral Plane.

The road goes on forever

But the party ended a long time ago. This pandemic is going to kill me. I don’t like to keep harping on the same subject (almost 8 years of articles on bicycle wrecks and infrastructure notwithstanding) but this keeping socially distanced is causing me actual harm. I have needs that preclude keeping any distance, much less 6 feet.

And the source of today’s headline is this mournful tune: Robert Earl Keen- The Road Goes On Forever And The Party Never Ends I picked a version that wasn’t as long as the others, because the song shouldn’t go on forever.

I’m still trying to stay mobile enough to climb in and out of the cage of the Sprint-T, but between the lack of range-of-motion in my hips and the pains in my shoulders and everything getting worse it’s a race between getting the raw stock in and the main hoops bent and not being able to move right to get in. I’m hoping I win this race, by finishing the car before I can’t swing a leg over the top of the cage.

And this feels like a good place to wrap up for the night.

Am I allowed to be angry?

On the one hand I’m a white cishet male, with all the advantages that entails. On the other hand it has been almost 10 months since I had “that kind” of contact with a person of my desired gender in spite of actually sleeping with one in the same bed, that I paid for, in a house that I paid off, and that I pay the taxes and insurance for every year. And I don’t have the budget to pay someone to get “that kind” of physical contact.

So, am I allowed to be angry? I don’t get any free, can’t buy any, so basically don’t get any at all. On top of that things hurt all the time, which I think is related to the previously stated problem.

Took Mrs. the Poet to dinner last night

I fired up the old cell phone for a trip to our favorite local (to us) restaurant and bought Mrs. the Poet a good dinner. Well I don’t know about “good” as in it wasn’t haute cuisine, but the food was pretty good tasting, and there was a lot of it.

I had my usual burger from this place, which was two quarter-pound patties, 2 full strips of bacon, and a fried egg, with the usual vegetables on a burger. Mrs. the Poet had a grilled chicken sandwich which was like, half a chicken worth of meat on a patty, I have no idea how they did that to look like a grilled chicken breast unless they have made some GMO chicken that is 30% breast by weight, that said sandwich she pronounced “Delicious”. It had a bunch of sauces and garnishes that I didn’t recognize, but as Mrs. the Poet said it was good, so as long as she’s happy with the food I’m happy she was happy. I’m sure the Long Island Iced Tea did a lot to improve her perception of the food and her mood. I had my usual Coke Zero. We also had Too Many Onion Rings as our appetizer, and a single scoop Sundae for her dessert. I skipped dessert because I was going to have something at home later.

The Former Guy was in town for something or other at a local church that has more money than sense, and fortunately the Giant Meteor managed to not wipe out the state, by not showing up. Also in the news was the forecast for Christmas is going to match the record high temperature of 80°F, which is crazy hot for the end of December. Well last week of December, not the actual end.

Also I installed the antenna on Mrs. the Poet’s TV to see how viable cutting the cord will be. Answer: not very. We get 2 channels and about 10 sub-channels, and pretty much none of it is what we watch on the regular. This is puzzling, because almost all the broadcast TV comes from an antenna farm 13 miles away in SE Dallas except for one a little closer but in the same area which was one of the channels we got. Also puzzling what we got was crystal clear and solid, but other channels less than a quarter-mile further away were nothing but static. Basically everything but the two channels we got was static, but what we got was rock solid and clear as cable TV. Don’t ask me to explain it, my experience with TV was from the analog days, this digital stuff I understand intellectually but not in practice.

I may have to abandon the Sprint-T project because I won’t be able to get in and out of it. I had a terrible time installing the antenna on the wall and that was just 2 steps up and down the stepstool, not clambering over the side and through the top of a roll cage. It’s not a matter of strength, it’s I’m losing agility. Basically all my hip and knee injuries are coming home to roost, I have trouble moving my leg high enough to make the step, same problem I had trying to get on a bike two years ago but worse. I don’t have the range of motion I need to climb over the top of the cage and get into my car. There’s nothing that hurts, it’s just my leg doesn’t go that far anymore. I can make a regular ladder step, but not the move I’ll need to swing into the top of the roll cage. I might have to build a roll cage simulator to practice getting in and out of my car…geriatric jungle gym? America’s Funniest Home Video candidate?

I had a great idea for a product

I had an idea for a product to sell to the foil hat people. You know, all those conspiracy people thinking that 5G cell phones are emitting mind control rays to make you vote for Democrats? Well foil hats don’t actually work, because they don’t send the energy to ground, they just keep the MCR all around your brain, scrambling it.

What you need is something that goes on your shoe to connect to ground, and then a clip to connect to the foil cap, and a wire between the two. After you make the foil hat and make sure it’s firmly attached to your head, you attach the clip to it, then run the wire inside your pants down your leg to the grounding plate on the bottom of your shoe. That makes sure the mind control rays have someplace safe to go away from your brain. Put the plate under the wear point on the ball of your foot so it stays in firm contact with the ground.

Where’s my snow?

I noticed that the December snowfall on WP sites missed my blog this year in spite of my selecting that option several years ago. I mean what’s up WordPress? I looked forward to having snow this year because it was “normal” to have snow for Christmas in the blog, even if we never saw any here in TX.

And I checked settings and now the snow effect is only available with a business site, not on the free sites like mine. Well it seems like the nice thing are only available to people willing to spend money.<deep sigh>

Thinking about ditching the land line

We get about 20 or more calls a day on the land line but very seldom are they from actual people. Yes I know this isn’t about building the Sprint-T, or building bicycles, or about getting hit while riding a bicycle. It is about an annoyance plaguing these times: the robocaller.

Seriously, our landline costs us $19.99/month and every time it rings (multiple times a day) I have to hear Mrs. the Poet complain loudly about not wanting to buy the product or support the charity. The noise from Mrs. the Poet is almost worse than the robocalls she complains about.

Now to dump the landline would require some changes, we have had the same phone number since 1996 when they changed us from 214 to 972 but the same 7 digit number since we moved to Garland. So many discount services are tied to that number that would have to change to one or the other of our cell phones.

But thing is both Mrs. the Poet and me have cells, her since she can’t remember when, at least since 2012 when she gave it to me to take on my trip to take care of my Dad after his wreck, and she had had it for over a year or maybe two before then. So, despite her almost never turning it on, she’s had it for ages.

My cell dates from 2012 when I took over the burner phone my elder daughter left behind after visiting from Scotland just before my Dad died. I kept that number until late 2013 when I had to replace that phone and didn’t have the documentation to keep the number on the new phone and ended up with the number I have now which is about to go to its third carrier.

But anywho, it’s not like we don’t have established long-term places of contact, so just changing the numbers our discount accounts are linked to and we save $20 every month. Plus we don’t get multiple robocalls every day. We just need to call a few people we still want to talk to about the change and we’re set.

This is hard to write

This post is hard to write every year, but this year I’m starting early, like Friday early before the Tuesday anniversary of my death. Yeah this is why I’ve been radio silent over the weekend and more.

I have previously posted a page about what I could dredge from my damaged brain, so I really don’t have much to add to that story. Over the years I have also recounted the emotions of the event, not just the facts and timeline. But even after 20 years it’s still like an open wound emotionally. I mean there has been some healing going on, there has to be otherwise I couldn’t function in society. If I had remained like I was the first month after the wreck, I would be dead. That’s no joke. I was almost catatonic that first couple of months, partly from the emotional damage, and partly because I was dealing with a broken body. Not just a little broken, barely-together broken and missed some broken bones fixed. Not that I blame anyone, a lot of my brokenness was harder than F to find. Like they knew about the fibula, but the tibia had reduced the fracture while I was flipping and flopping like a rag doll so hard that swelling around the optic nerves made me temp blind, as in who turned out the lights blind. And to give an idea of how messed up emotionally I was I just thought the lights were out so I could sleep, not that I was blind. But anyway the forces on my leg from tumbling on all three axis lined it up good enough that I only have a small-but-still-painful bone scar on my tibia.

I still have a problem with bending and turning, not this bad, but close. I have to make written plans for getting off the floor when I look under the bed for lost character sheets because I’m old and things don’t work like they used to. Part of that is from the wreck.

Another thing I have is flinching when a car comes from behind while I’m walking. Since it has been 20 years after the wreck I’m assuming that is pretty much a permanent thing now, and going to happen every time now. The really bad thing about that is sometimes I flinch so hard I hurt myself from the sudden jerk. The old muscles just aren’t what they used to be.

On days like this I spend a lot of time dwelling on mortality, mine and the people around me. Deep down I know I will reach my “sell by date” and expire. But my experiences tell me I’m going to suffer a lot before I get there. And that’s what really scares me, suffering for no good reason.

Happy Juneteenth!

Not much to say today, just noticing today is the 156th anniversary of the slaves on Galveston Island being told they are (were) free. Happy Juneteenth! Now go vote and do other things free people do. And I just noticed that I never tagged my previous Juneteenth posts, which I will have to do l8r, dudes!

Happy Pride Month

I’m a little late because of the circumstances recounted in the previous two posts, but happy Pride Month. I’m your basic cis-het male ally, lost count of the gay/trans/lesbian people we rescued off the streets, but still trying to get a handle on how I can help more people. About the only orientation/sexuality we haven’t put up for a night or a month has been Ace/aro, because for some reason people who don’t have sex with anyone don’t get tossed out of their homes by their parents. We also put up a few pagan people who got told to leave their homes for many reasons. There was a lot of crossover between Pagan and the LGBTQA community sleeping in our house.

Which is why we take people in and give them a place to sleep and get a bath/shower and a bite to eat. Many times they show up on our doorstep with only the clothes on their backs and a toothbrush, sometimes without even the toothbrush. But we take them in anyway, because we do what we can. Unless they are violent or otherwise disrespectful to other members of the house they have a place to stay. This is how we celebrate Pride in this house.