Tag Archives: can’t die I’m the hero

I’m somebody’s fetish

There’s a saying “either you die a hero, or you live long enough to be the villain”. Well there’s a lesser-known corollary, about eventually becoming someone’s fetish. I have reached that stage of my character development.

I’m on a dating site because I’m poly, and I have outlived all my previous girlfriends. Someone on the site has a grandfather fetish, and guess who is old enough to be her grandfather and is also of the body type to be attractive to this person? Don’t strain your brain if it wasn’t me I wouldn’t be doing this post. Now if she had gone about it differently I wouldn’t be doing this post, I would be following up on a meeting. But she was creepy about it, not in the “creepy but cute” way, but in the “I want to do things with you because you’re old” kind of way.

It’s not that she isn’t cute, if her profile pictures are of her. Seriously, she has the kind of body I like, grooms the way I like women to groom, and has a face that is easy on the eyes. If it wasn’t for the way she words her messages there might be something going on with us. Buuuutttt… Seriously, she keeps talking about my white beard and the thin spot in the hair on the back of my head, and how I need a cane to walk as far as the bus stop 0.4 miles (0.64 km) away. Like I said, it’s a bit creepy.

And to be honest about it, I’m not adverse to her liking me for my body, it’s just the comments she makes about my age and infirmity. It’s not like I don’t know I’m old, and I make no bones about being somewhat crippled.

When I get my ID I’ll be in business

Now I’m waiting on my ID and ATM card to be replaced so I can start selling my plasma to buy groceries and hot rod parts. Since I need the ATM card to pay for the ID that’s more important right now. Then the ID so I can start making some money and buying raw stock and parts (and tools) for the hot rod, and groceries, too. Mrs. the Poet and I agreed that about half the money would go for buying groceries since pretty much all her retirement goes to household expenses.

Things that are on hold right now because the guy writing the script never got around to fixing that dangling plot line:

1) Broken bike pump, still need to have a printer to print the return label.
2) Cats still “broken” need getting fixed.
3) Riding bike, see: Broken bike pump.
4) Reprogramming PCM on hot rod, suspect that is in a later chapter after I actually get the donor car.
5) Hole in shower wall and toilet that needs a new wax ring because water gushes from underneath it every time it gets flushed.
6) Something to cover the bare concrete floors where the ratty carpets had to be pulled up.
7) Getting Mrs. the Poet’s back fixed so she can walk better without pain.

And if this seems a little random, one of the things I like to play with is we are all characters in someone else’s stories. I mean how else would you explain my life except as a series of novels and short stories? Sometimes I get good stories, sometimes I get the Book of Job. And sometimes I get something in between. What I suspect now is my current writer has written themselves into a corner in that the main character has discovered he is immortal but not invulnerable. As another character in a similar position has put it, “Just because I can’t die doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt when someone tries to test it out.” As an author what can you do with such a character? Do you have him heroically jumping into situations where people may die knowing it will hurt like Hades for the rest of his life which effectively means forever, until every waking moment is constant agony or stupor from painkilling drugs? Or make him hyper cautious because forever is a long time to hurt? I don’t know either.

The biggest plot problem facing my writer is a lack of income caused by previous events, it’s real hard to do anything without money, usually lots of money. Some writers just have things magically show up without any plausible means of paying for them, but that’s not happening here (unless you count the free donor car). But yeah, source of income is usually overlooked when writing a story, but right now it is literally the biggest problem I’m facing. How can I be a hero when I don’t even have money for a day pass to get there? And whoever heard of the hero riding to the rescue on the bus? 😀 I think that might be the subject of the next story, setting me up with enough income for the rest of the stories to come. My devious nature just flashed to those Publisher’s Clearinghouse Sweepstakes prizes of $5k/week for life won by a guy who lives forever. “It’s 2218, he’s been set up financially for life since 2017, and they want him DEAD!” Well, I hope this gives my writer or writer team some options.

Moving to more current and real-world things, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day. Hug your sweetie, swap candy and/or spit as appropriate, and have a good time.

Billed @€0.02, Opus the Unkillable