What I want for Xmas 2021

It’s a short list this year with prices running from free to $thousands. Incidentally the first item on the list has that exact price spread.

1) A night with a naked woman. If Mrs. the Poet fills this one it’s free, if we have to farm it out the price can exceed $2000.

2) An aluminum block 5.3l LS engine set up for a manual transmission and a T5 transmission. I don’t even have to get this one tuned as the stock 5.3l has more than enough power to get the Sprint-T moving at race speed without getting the last pound of torque or HP out of it. If I get this the Sprint-T will come in at <1500 pounds with the race tank full of gas. This is the most expensive item on the list, even at junkyard prices.

3) Underwear, tighty-whities in 36-38. When I go shopping they never seem to have any in my size, so I have to ask for it.

4) Ankle socks to fit an 8.5 Men's shoe foot. I have 3 pairs left and they are getting transparent in the heels

5) A Hotwheels car. I'm looking for real cars, like hot/street rods or muscle cars, not the cartoon type cars. And I don't need/want bunches of them, just one that sells for like $2.00.

Peace on Earth would be nice, too

Advertisement

Tonight I will celebrate with brownies, ice cream, and Shiner

After a meal of chicken patty sandwiches, sweet potatoes, and some other vegetable we will celebrate [Monty Python] I’m not dead yet [/Monty Python] for nineteen years. I still have three bottles of Shiner Bock left from the last 12 pack we got in July I think(?) so I will have plenty for the party. Actually one will probably be enough, I’m not big on drinking. That will leave two more for celebrating my grandson’s and my birthdays this month, his is tomorrow, mine is the 22nd.

That reminds me I still haven’t made my birthday list of things I want. Well it isn’t a very long list, and some of the things won’t be ready in time for my birthday, but will be done in time for Solstice/Yule/Christmas.

1. World peace and an end to the pandemic.
1a. Trump’s political ass on a platter. The platter can be non-physical, you don’t actually have to put anything on a physical platter.

2. An LS or LT engine and matching automatic transmission and all the supporting electronics, and any programmer needed for tuning to run in a sub-ton mass car. Now I have been contemplating building a super-long runner intake manifold to get a super-wide powerband for an LS engine, but don’t let that color your decision if you have a screaming deal on an LT engine.
2a. If you stumble on a great deal on a Pentastar V6 and a manual transmission, the combined lower mass and shorter engine length would allow enough footroom for three pedals so I could use it in the Sprint-T. Basically the engine is short enough that if I install it with the front of the engine in the same place as the front of an SBC or LS engine most of the bellhousing would be in front of the firewall of the T-Bucket body and there would be plenty of room between the transmission and the inside of the body before offsetting the engine for balance to stuff in 3 pedals.

3. A rear axle with disk brakes in either a 5X4 1/2 or 5X4 3/4 bolt circle. There are several Ford axles in junkyards that would fit and also be strong enough to hold up to racing with any of the stock LS or LT engines. Now what I really want is a Winters V8 magnesium center and aluminum axle tubes with the 5X4 3/4 bolt pattern aluminum GN hubs in 60″ hub to hub and 3½” right offset so I could use the brake floaters and the brake calipers to decouple braking forces from the axle.

4. Buc-Ee’s Dark chocolate covered Beaver Nuggets Or you can save a bunch of money by stopping at a local to you Buc-Ee’s and spend like a third of the amount, plus shipping. The only reason I’m even putting these on the list is they are just outside of where I can get to by transit and it’s so annoying to almost be within smelling range, but out of reach.

And really that’s all I want that I can’t get for myself, excluding the Beaver Nuggets, I can get them I just can’t see spending that much money on something that is less than $5 in the store. Now go celebrate that you’re “not dead yet”. “I feel happy!”

Christmas lists at Casa de El Poeta

We have 3½ lists here at Casa de El Poeta: Mrs. the Poet, Clint and Clyde, and yr fthfl srvnt.

Clint and Clyde are the easiest to shop for, they need to get fixed, neutered, castrated, rendered incapable of reproducing. And shots, but you have to get the shots before you can get them fixed. You get the idea. That’s why we have 3½ lists for 4 individuals. Oh, and some cat treats, because they deserve a little something and neither one likes catnip or toys because they’re both weird.

Mrs. the Poet needs a new can opener because the one we have now came with the house mounted to the kitchen cabinet over the stove when we bought the house in 1994. So it’s kinda worn out now and is really tricky to use to get cans open. She can’t use the hand-held kind that clamp to the side of the can because her hands don’t work like that any more. And of course she always needs a new mop and broom every year. I know she wants other things, but will she tell me what she wants? No way. Aside from getting the plumbing fixed and the holes in the shower wall fixed, which is a little out of my price range.

Now my list, but my list is going to sound greedy because I know what I need and want, the cats can’t tell me and Mrs. the Poet won’t tell me unless I happen to be standing there when she notices she needs something and she can complain about it. But if she doesn’t have anything to complain about when I’m standing there she doesn’t remember to tell me she wants or needs it. But I have a bunch of things that are no longer working or that I need and don’t have. One thing I have falling apart is the laptop I’m typing this on. There are keys going out, especially the arrow keys, and if I ever unplug from the battery charger it dies because the battery is no longer among the living.

I also need that engine hoist I have been mentioning forever, a floor jack, and new glasses. My stupid glasses have been falling apart for over a year now, and I keep putting them back together and hoping they’ll last a while longer.

I don’t know who I expect to fill this list, but I’m kinda just putting it out there that there are needs that need filling and kinda hoping someone will fill them.

People die, but life continues. Plus my Christmas list.

I finally processed another hero from my childhood shuffling off this mortal coil, and I can’t think of anything better to say than what Scott Carpenter said during Glenn’s launch into orbit: “Godspeed, John Glenn.”

Now what I need for Christmas (I need this regardless, but Christmas is a good excuse to send it to me).

The new bike needs head and tail lights and my DIY supply closet is fresh out of things I can hack for the cause. I would like a nice bright headlight that can use the 8.4 V lithium pack from the mega light that burned out, or a similar light that will let me stack two tail lights vertically and put one on blink and the other steady. I also have a diffusing lens from the headlight that fits a large variety of headlights like the Magicshine 303.

I really need some raw stock for the T-bucket project. The big one is 1.5″ square 0.060″ wall 4130 chromoly, I’m going to need like 40 feet of that. Also need 1.5″ x 0.120″ wall round for the roll cage (SCCA rules) about 20 feet, and another 20 feet of 1.5″ x 0.060″ round for frame rails. I’ll also need some light sheet but I haven’t figured out how much and what size I’ll need for that, so hold off on getting that. My welding supplies will handle 4130 alloy so I’m good on that.

If anyone has a small lathe they want to donate to the cause the wheels for the Mini Sprint-T will be much easier to mod to the right widths, and a lot of other things that need to be done as well. Otherwise I’ll have to figure out how to turn my Dremel into a lathe with hose clamps and 2X4s.

As always any cyclist will appreciate gifts of food. I have a weakness for Swiss Colony Summer Sausage and Mrs. the Poet loves their sharp cheeses and petit fours. Basically though anything sausage and/or cheese from the Swiss Colony is good.

And Amazon or Starbucks gift cards are always welcome. You have no idea how much a hot coffee or iced tea means when you’re out and about and don’t have cash on hand for a meal or snack. And there are always things we need on Amazon at a good price with free shipping. 😉

Last thing, there is a water-resistant windbreaker on Alert Shirt that would be perfect for this part of TX. It’s light enough to wear by itself in spring and fall rains and would also work as a wind-proof top layer over other stuff in the winter. I would need an XL for that.

Everyone have a safe day, especially those of you in the midwest in the blizzard conditions.

PSA, Opus the Unkillable Badass

My Christmas/Yule wish list

Yep, that time of year again. My family wants to know what I want for Christmas, besides my own private road where no cars are allowed that always goes where I need to go.

Well I still need a real bike headlight , not a flashlight held onto the handlebars with a pair of hose clamps, and a real taillight to go with it. Of course there are cheaper headlights and taillights available on the Internets. You can also get headlights and taillights locally as well. Lighted wheels make the bike much more visible from the side. Wrist bands with blinky LEDs make signalling turns at night much more visible.

Clothing I need a new reflective vest. I need new long sleeve jerseys like the red one in the tall 2XL but the yellow or orange in 2XL regular will work almost as good (the jerseys I have now are more than 6 years old and are riding up my belly when I lift my arms). I also need new tights because you can see through the knees of the tights I have now, but you can get tights cheap locally from the running shops because I don’t need the crotch pad of cycling shorts/tights. I need the 2XL tights from the link, without the pad. I don’t know what that translates in running tights sizes, but I have a 37-38″ waist.

On non-bicycle related front I really need a new computer . Don’t worry about which flavor of Windows is installed, I’m going to wipe it and install Ubuntu. So a used notebook with WiFi will do the job, assuming it actually is capable of doing the job. I need enough CPU and memory to handle having as many as 20 browser windows open with all that Flash and other things that web sites use now to slow down your computer. I really need to be able to watch Vimeo and YouTube videos so I can get all the information about news stories, that I haven’t been getting lately because the computer I have now does not handle Flash Audio properly. So I need a new ‘puter to do what I do here better.

Other things I need? Way too long a list. The bath for the master bedroom needs to be remodeled as the shower is literally falling to pieces. The fence needs to be replaced or removed. The main bath needs to get a new faucet and the shower fixed. The oven won’t get to temperature or hold the set temperature when it does get to temperature. That’s kinda bad because I bake bread for spending money to get stuff for my family. I could also use some help with building my travel camp trailer to haul behind my bike, like the tent part. I have the design, just not the tools or expertise to turn the idea into reality. The dishwasher won’t let the water in when it runs (hard to clean dishes without using any water). The list is just endless.

So, that’s my list for this year.

PSA, Opus