Tag Archives: dead again

I’m not dead, but this feels familiar

I have been daywalking since Wednesday. For those not familiar “daywalking” is the vampire term for being up after sunrise. And also for those not familiar I have a customer loyalty card for Charon’s ferry service with a free spa day at the Elysian Fields resort and spa after the next 4 times I die. So being dead is not unusual for me, it just isn’t a frequent thing. And when I’m daywalking it feels a lot like when I was dead, like April Fools is just another day and all that is just part of a normal day.

I finished the taxes today, and for a guy who doesn’t have a steady income, I sure get a lot of taxes withheld. I’m getting back over a grand, $1K, a kilobuck, on whatever I made last year, which as I recall was not as much as I’m getting back. Don’t ask me, I never understood my finances since the wreck. Basically it looks like money just appears in my bank account after I do something fun and useful. I don’t recall actually working last year, I didn’t get any gigs from the company that gets me stuff cleaning up machine translated documents as the “Christmas Rush” starts about the same time as the pandemic hit. This is because the schedules for making stuff for Christmas is about a year behind actual Christmas. Designs begin in mid-to-late December, ad copy and packaging starts in February, I start getting stuff to clean up in late March through September and my “pay” comes August through November. The pay I get is in the form of store-specific gift cards like Amazon or other on-line retailers that since it is non-fungible is also not taxable. So this is from the IRA, or something else connected with the trust fund, or just appeared in my tax return out of nowhere. And you know what? “Just appeared out of nowhere” seems like “Peak 2020” to me right now. So many strange things happen to me recently that returns on taxes I didn’t know were withheld from income I don’t remember getting is in a bizarre way, normal.

I better check my customer loyalty card to see if I have any more checks on it, I might have died again. Nope, still four more trips to go for my premium. So, I at least didn’t get killed again in 2020.🤔

On the other strange thing going on I’m still getting 18 YO and up women sending me nudes and topless pictures through Facebook and other social media sites I’m on, at least I hope they over 18. Not that I object to getting pictures from/of attractive women, it’s just that so many of them think I will find them more attractive when their cup size is D or higher, and to be totally honest I have had more than enough of big boobed women. I have had lady friends in the F-J range, and even Mrs. the Poet is a D on a bad day and DD or larger on a good day. If you want to impress me, be of age and an A cup and don’t “enhance” it. Be proud of who you are and what you have, even if that means standing twice to cast a shadow, and never wondering if you got polish on all your toenails, or never having to contort to see to tie your shoes. You’re not flat, you’re streamlined for reduced fuel consumption. You’re “fun-sized”, “convenient travel sized”, “no leftovers single-serve”. And not coincidentally, you haven’t been sending me pictures on social media, either.

I must have died again and didn’t notice

Today in the mail I got a frequent traveller card for the ferry on the river Styx. I tried to take a picture.

You can see the dents from the card on my fingertips but not the actual card

Now either I have lost count of the times I died, or I am the butt of an elaborate prank. Buuuuuut I don’t know of anyone who can make an object I can see but not photograph. I don’t know of any physical process that would allow me to see but not photograph an object I can hold in my hand.

Now as to why I have a frequent traveler card for Charon’s ferry (I had to translate from the Greek on the card) I have no real idea, but a couple of hypotheses. One is my next career is going to be a Psychopomp, a guide of souls to the afterlife. Since I don’t actually see dead people like the kid in Sixth Sense that’s not high on the list of probabilities. Another possibility is I am literally immortal but will sometimes get “knocked out” to be dead for a little while and this card is to identify me as “just visiting” the afterlife. That one is not good because getting killed hurt the last time I can remember. Well, not the being dead part, that was fine, and the actual getting killed was so quick I really didn’t notice. The coming back alive to a body that was badly broken, yeah that shit hurt like a [$UNPRINTABLE]. So yeah if you find yourself dead I strongly suggest staying dead because there is probably a pretty painful reason why you died.

So supposition time: why do I have a frequent traveller card for πορθμείο του Χάροντα, and why can’t I take a picture of it? Is it because of the number of round trips I have made or the number I will make in the future? If I have died more than once why can’t I remember? This whole line of thought is disturbing. BTW there are boxes on the back with marks in 3 of them and something in Greek on the tenth box, so I get a prize? What kind of prize do you get for dying 10 times? And does 3 marks mean I have died twice in such a way as to “not know” I’m dead? That’s even more disturbing than knowing I died once and came back.

So, what would you do with a frequent flyer card for the afterlife?

Opus the Unkillable