Time shifting again because meds

I’m trying to get my sleep schedule more diurnal because I have things to do Wednesday. So Tuesday I get to stay up all night/day so I’m awake when I need to be. The gabapentin is working for the neuropathy and the tinnitus, I don’t get leg twitches from neuropathy when I sleep, and the tinnitus is down to a dull whistle (I bet you thought I was going to type “roar”). But it makes me stay asleep too long so that I’m on what is basically a 26 hour “day”. With the gabapentin I get to sleep pretty quickly and basically just stay unconscious for over 9 hours, and basically stoned and unresponsive for another hour. So if I can stay awake until 1800 or so I’ll sleep until 0400, which is good for a week or two of daywalking.

I have to help the lady do her unemployment tomorrow, so I need to be awake when I do that. With my sleep schedule as borked as it is, I would not be awake when I was needed to do the data entry for her unemployment if I didn’t stay up at least until 1800 today. If I stay up until 2000 I’m even better. But I have to stay awake t leastuntil 1800and I’m already getting loopyfrom lack of sleep. And I thikit might be affecting my coordination a little.

And that became funny because Mrs. the Poet decided she wanted to wear the sports bra that takes 4 hands and two engineering degrees to get on and tucked in properly. And I’m 2 hands and degrees shy of requirements. So it was funny to get the bra over her head and around the boobies. Hysterical and not in the historical meaning of the word about women bereft of intelligence and sense, but in the funny until your sides ache sense. As in I get them in from the bottom then have to push them back down from the top, then left and right to get them in their individual stretchy pockets that they’re trying to escape from by still going over the top or out the bottom, because boobies are a non-Newtonian fluid.

Seriously, the East German powertools need painting, the hamhock needs cutting shorter so the lid will close on the crockpot, and I need to buy some allergy meds because I’m having trouble seeing through the goop in my eyes. And loopy, don’t forget I’m getting loopy because I’ve already been up 20 hours and I’m getting too old for this $#!+. So this is where I’ll end this post.

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Change in circumstance leads to change in mental state

I don’t know if I will ever have the re$ource$ to build out any road-going version of the hot rod, and it has caused a downward trend in emotional futures here at Casa de El Poeta. Those of you betting the new anti-depressant was not going to work after it “settled in” can now collect your winnings. It looks like I can either have a sex life or not be depressed, but not both at the same time. And that knowledge is depressing in and of its own self. Throw not having the financial resources to build the car on top of that… Fortunately I’m staying above the suicide line. I’m sad I won’t have the hot rod, and all that but I won’t let it drive me below the suicide line, I’ve been there and it is a Very Dark Place (using Milne Capitalization for emphasis).

On the other hand, not having to restrict myself to any rules or regulations except “will it go fast” and “will it be fun to drive” turned loose a bunch of mutants from the imagination. One in particular was based on the A-Mod car with the 90° Vee Twin sidewinder engine next to the driver, and the exhaust pipes running out the passenger side of the body and a small gas tank hanging from the roll cage to feed the EFI pump. That one would have been funny-looking with the rear axle tucked up behind the body and the front axle just far enough in front of the body not to hit the tires against the fiberglass at full lock. No visible engine, especially if I run the exhaust under the body. And not enough room outside the body to put an engine as small as the 420cc Predator from the local Harbor Freight store.

I then went through all the permutations of putting a liter class I4 motorcycle engine in the car, using both the mid-engine short chain drive to a differential and the front-engine offset to a lightweight rear axle. Both of those would work as long as a separate electric motor could be used as a reverse. I was sticking that engine in every which way trying to find a performance advantage. The only way that had a theoretical advantage was the mid-engine short chain drive. So still thinking even though there’s really nothing I can do with it.

OK I’ve been doing this writing thing for a while, and my nose is froze just from normal breathing. And right now I’m listening to “The Bertha Butt Boogie” on YTM, the album version. In case you thought things were “normal” around the ranch. I think I was in 8th grade when Jimmy Castor did his thing with Ms. Butt. The other hit from that album, “Troglodyte” is also in my rotation. But that still doesn’t do anything to make my office warmer than the current 64°F which is the warmest reading I’ve had with all the TVs and computers running plus my personal heat pumping into the space. It was 62° earlier when I first looked today.

Getting back to the opening paragraph, now I need to go through detoxing from my anti-depressant, which takes about 2 weeks to do and from the instructions sounds like Hell to go through. There are 2 main reasons to go through this, the first being it doesn’t work for me and I don’t need any more chemicals running through me than absolutely necessary. The second thing is this med makes me sleep half the day, and depression does that to me all by itself, I don’t need any help in staying unconscious. So the med has to go. I guess I’ll be unmedicated for a month to see what my baseline feels like, I really need to test that when I’m playing with my brain chemistry. Back to baseline after a failure. Making a note of that. Right here in my blog I’m making a note that I need to spend a month without brain meds to gauge my mental condition after I have a brain med that fails to work as advertised.

And with that, I really need to take this shoe off. I have a toe that needs a trim and the nail base is starting to hurt. If I try to run around the house unshod I’ll be hurting from another source so I need to get my feet back in bed where they will be warmish or so. I think I really need to hit the road and get my nails done in the morning, or after I get up since technically it’s already over 2 hours into the “morning” as I post this.