Tag Archives: hope

I better win the lottery tonight

Because my foot is absolutely THROBBING from the little bit of walking I did yesterday, basically to and from the bus stops. So it turns out walking almost a mile with what is essentially a broken toe isn’t a good idea, whodathunkit? So since I’m suffering all this pain just to get the ticket there better be some payoff that is worth the pain.

And since I can’t proceed with the plans I have already made I have been making more plans for the TGS2 that I can’t fulfill. Since I can’t sit still and I can’t move forward I run around in circles to fool myself into thinking I’m getting something done. It’s terrible to try and fool myself that I’m actually doing something when I’m not, really. But the alternative is something like stepping in front of a train or bus. I’m not planning on that, but that is pretty much the choice, either fool myself I’m getting something done or end it all. Or just write stuff in a blog which I guess falls under the “fool myself I’m getting something done” category.

Of course if I win the lottery I will have the resources to actually do something, roughly $144k/an after taxes and the agreed-upon division of 1/3 each for me, Mrs. the Poet, and the house/cats. Mrs. the Poet has medical issues she needs to deal with, I have medical issues I need to deal with, and the house and the cats have deferred maintenance/medical issues to deal with, and probably after all the deferred issues have been at least started to be dealt with next thing is doing something we want instead of just what we need. Then I can start actually building the TGS2 instead of just writing about maybe building it someday.