Tag Archives: No aliens yet

OK strange things are happening

I mean strange things by the standard of my life not by the standards of normal people. And we already know how weird things have to get for me to call them strange.

Let’s just say this is another case of someone proposing marriage, only this time I think she means it. I’m pretty sure it’s not my body because she has already seen me nude in a professional setting and knows how much doesn’t work any more, and how much still does. There is a (very) slight possibility she’s romantically attracted to me because we always have pleasant interactions and are mutually polite but not the forced kind of polite where it’s obvious one or both don’t like each other. But I think it might be for other reasons, unrelated to personality or economics.

I don’t want to get into it too much, but I think the reason is, this woman might be in trouble, and that’s why she wants to marry me. And to be honest if I wasn’t already married, I might consider taking her up on the idea. She’s cute, articulate, and talented. If Mrs the Poet was not here I would probably marry this woman just to get her out of whatever mess she’s found herself in. I don’t know if this makes me romantic, a White Knight, or stupid (but let us agree that these are not exclusive and the Venn Diagram for these has many overlaps).

Now that that is out of the way, I did mundane things today, like paying phone bills and presenting prescriptions for filling, and heating leftovers for dinner, reading webcomics, and drinking beer and eating ice cream (not at the same time). I also bought tickets for all the lottery drawings this weekend, because I can’t win if I don’t buy a ticket. One thing I do when I buy lottery tickets is get the annuity option so I get my fortune in bite-sized pieces instead of one chunk that I literally can’t spend. I would prefer to get all the money over time than get some of the money right now, even if it’s a huge chunk of money that I’ll never wrap my mind around. Also it’s a lot harder to spend money you don’t have, not impossible, but harder. I think if I win the $137e6 prize I’ll buy an island in international waters and just disappear from the earth, maybe take that woman who wants to marry me and Mrs the Poet with me and put them up on opposite sides of the island with a paved bike path between the two houses. Or build a big house that they can stay on opposite ends of and just keep up the part they live in and let the help take care of the rest.

Which makes me wonder why Jeff Bezos doesn’t just buy a small country and kick everyone out, he’s rich enough? I mean his personal fortune is several times the GDP of about a third of the countries, it’s not like he would notice the change in his accounts if he did buy a country. I’m not even sure it would increase his security costs noticeably. OK enough of that tangent.

But to get back to weird, I haven’t seen any flying saucers this week, Lady Sasquatch is obeying the restraining order, I’m staying out of their territory (long story involving body hair and things left unsaid) and I don’t have any kids I’m just learning about. Besides most of the aliens use the triangle ships for peopled missions, the saucers are mostly unpeopled probes testing environments and looking for inhabited planets to avoid. And the word has gotten out about Humans, only the real freaks even come here any more.