Tag Archives: people getting killed

Things have been hard to process

We have had multiple mass shootings including Uvalde, and others that haven’t made the mass media, and I have had other problems that can be solved with money I don’t have. Ain’t things just peachy?

Personally, my leg where I got hit is not even functional to tolerances, specification is not even in the equation. It’s to the point that I make trips from the office to the kitchen, mailbox, toilet, and bedroom for fresh underwear, and that’s pretty much it. I have reached my limits of pain and exertion for the day, and I am mentally exhausted. I have the physical energy if I need to get up and do something, but mentally? I am done. I just can’t face getting out from behind the computer and going out to the hall or anything.

I got a jar of organic nut butter for free, so I thought we could replace a jar of peanut butter with it, but as it set on the shelf waiting for the peanut butter to get eaten it separated into oil and solids, and Mrs. the Poet poured off the oil and now we have basically a jar of nut solids in paste form, AKA edible concrete. So many cashews gave their lives for Mrs. the Poet to turn them into unspreadable paste. I honestly don’t know about her anymore, her mother didn’t do things like this.

The screaming in my ears is quieter today, I still can’t understand speach in a noisy environment, but a quiet conversation with Mrs. the Poet is possible without her having to shout or me saying “Huh?” every third word. And when we got surrounded by multiple lawn crews doing their thing I was near hair-pulling frustration at the noise. But they’re gone now, and I can hear myself think. Which was part of the reason I sat down at my computer, I have the ability to compose my thoughts through the keyboard and onto the screen. I just can’t think of much to say.

I did the marathon race thing on Sunday, but exhaustion from my disrupted sleep schedule caught up to me before the Coca-Cola 600 was a third of the way done. I watched the Red Bull, Ferrari, Red Bull finish in the rain and wreck shortened Monaco Gran Prix, I saw Marcus Erikson win the Indy 500, but I caught myself nodding off at lap 133 of 400 and put myself to bed before Denny Hamlin won his first World 600 after multiple green-white-checkers in NASCAR overtime. I did watch the YouTube highlights yesterday which is how I know Hamlin won and there were overtimes, but at the time it happened I was zonked out, sawing wood, slumbering, catching Z’s. Dead to the world. Off in the arms of Morpheus. T-I-R-E-D.

Now getting back to the problems I have that can only be solved with money. I need to get an upper plate denture at a minimum so I can bite and chew, but that’s looking out of my budget. I’m supposed to call Aspen Dental and see what they can do , but my wake cycles and their office hours are not synching up so when I’m awake to call them there’s nobody there to take the call, and when they are there I’m not awake. But I’m not sure I have enough $$ to get an upper plate. That’s the problem, I can’t get a price until I come in, and when I come in I’m committed to paying the price no matter how much it costs. That’s No Bueno for me.

Also I’m having the problem of not getting any female companionship in bed, the way I want and physically can manage. I mean I have arthritis in both knees and kneeling is uncomfortable at best to unbearable. And most sex acts require at least some kneeling except for a very few that can be done with the man flat on his back, and some that have to be done standing and my hips and back are unhappy with those positions. So if the woman involved isn’t light or agile enough to be on top, I don’t have sex. And since Mrs. the Poet is using a walker these days that precludes her from being agile enough. Not that she wants to these days, we’re down to one snuggle party per year. This is another problem that can be solved with money I don’t have…