Ever have an anger you just can’t put into words?

This week has been rough for me. Between the Rittenhouse verdicts and my personal medical issues and buying Thanksgiving dinner I’m just all ravelled ends.

Starting with the punk with a gun hunting protesters, I do not understand how they came to the verdicts, he crossed state lines, with a weapon that he was too young to carry, looking to find somebody to shoot, and he found somebody to shoot and kill. He had no reason to be there armed unless he was hunting protesters. And the fact that the one charge that he was guilty of without a doubt was dismissed, well the fix was in.

My personal health issues are my hips hurt constantly now, and my fingers don’t work sometimes, as in I hit the wrong keys or no keys when I think I did and have to go back and edit what I typed way too much. Basically my pain level is 3 or higher on a 0-10 scale and sometimes other joints/muscles decide to join the chorus, like my knuckles right now. It’s not even cold, only 73°F in my office according to my desktop clock/thermometer.

Also on the health issues list is my need for touch and affection not getting met. I have no doubts that is contributing to my other pains being worse than I would otherwise be. All I’m looking for is some skin contact and lady orgasms. Seriously, that’s also about all I can manage physically because of my knees. Absolutely no danger of getting anyone pregnant from an encounter with me. And that’s another reason I’m angry, a big chunk of my arsenal of fun things to do with people doesn’t work.

Throw that together with can’t afford to finish the Sprint-T and you get an amorphous mass of anger and frustration. Just all wound up and nothing to let it out on, not even role playing games. Our Shadowrun session was put off because half of the group is dealing with medical or mental issues that prevent joining the game Discord. So I can’t kill imaginary enemies with equally imaginary weapons. When I can do this it is an incredibly effective stress reduction, also the in-game concept that my character has a personal DMZ between two gangs that he enforces with a combination of carrots and sticks and the fact that he’s effectively immortal, he can be killed but he also can’t stay dead for long. He has a habit of coming back during open casket viewings/eulogies quoting Monty Python.

And I just had an idea of a game arc that might be fun, we get a TPK and I have to guide everyone back from the Land of The Dead to the our world. If the DM does it right it could be quite an adventure. We also have a bunch of people who have old characters they don’t want to play that this could be a good way to permanently dispose of. They just can’t/don’t want to leave the Land of The Dead. Presto, unwanted character is no longer playable without a seance. Also I could possibly get a punch on my customer loyalty card from Charon for everybody in the party and get that spa day at the Elysian Fields Resort for (another) 10 trips. 😈 That would be interesting gameplay.

The Sprint-T project is on a mad dash to nowhere because of lack of budget because windows that can be seen through and don’t leak air are more important, and because I still haven’t won the lottery or Powerball or Megamillions. And inflation has taken a serious bite out of my budget, period. On a serious note, sending money through my Ko-Fi is a good way to support the Sprint-T, you can even leave a note saying what you want me to spend it on.

And I see I have written enough words to make an interesting post and few enough to not be boring, so this is s good spot to put this post to bed.

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There is still hope

I try to not get too political in this space, I save that for my Twitter (@opusthepoet, yes I snagged that one first, too), but I do get into politics frequently out in meatspace. I was watching Biden accept the nomination for the Democratic Party, and in spite of his speech impediment he still has better cadence and vocabulary than That Other Guy. From what I understand he’s a regular bike rider as well as a Car Guy, meaning we share common ground in transportation issues. I’m still not hep to his opinions on M4A to replace the ACA, but I’m sure the GOP will be happy to tell me how much of a “socialist” he is…

Anyways, wanted to get that off my chest hairs, and also let you know I finally got through to the SSA to set up my Social Security payments. My appointment is 9/11 at 1405, so I have to somehow stay awake or be awake when they call. I’m hopeful I can get things running by October or November.

And I need to shower and change to get my toes done now, so this is it for a while.

Things have been too hectic to write much lately

Both externally and internally, things have been busy in the ramp up to the election. So much so that sitting down at the laptop was basically impossible. Collecting my thoughts enough to get them out my fingers got me running inside my mind so much that I just gave up and decided to experience the moment instead of trying to analyze and record it.

On politics, we had a 50-50 day here at Casa de El Poeta, Beto lost, but Colin won, and I still haven’t found out if my state rep is the Tea Party loser from the last 4 primaries or the Democrat. The seat was open as the woman who beat the Tea Party loser in the primary decided to spend more time with her family and less time getting threatened by party bosses. Google finally got me to a 100% ballots counted and the TP loser lost again. The TP crazy that was my state senator lost to the Democrat. It won’t change much in Austin, but at least I will have a voice in my state government. Now maybe we can get something done about the crazy traffic laws, like reducing the minimum posted speed limit from 50% fatal to pedestrians (and cyclists) 30 MPH to 5% fatal 20 MPH, and a 3 feet to pass law for cyclists and pedestrians. Anywho, anxiety about what level of crazy was going to represent my views in the legislature as well as in the Senate and Congress prevented me from organizing my thoughts enough to write.

Physically I haven’t been sitting at the computer for writing much either, as I have been away from the house more than usual, for self-care. I got a massage, and did some shopping at the Harbor Freight, and last week I got my toes done so I don’t claw Mrs. the Poet in my sleep. I still need to get a haircut, but that will have to wait until I get more funds. I’m down to the point I need to conserve money for bus fare until the end of the month.

On the T-bucket front after last week’s assessment of assets I came to the conclusion that a mid-engine bucket is out of the question from a ride and handling standpoint. The parts I have are just not right for a mid-engine car, and the unsprung weight would result in tires not spending time in contact with the road surface. Front tires not on the road causes massive understeer no matter what you do about front to rear roll balance, if the front tires aren’t on the road it doesn’t matter what you do with the steering the car won’t turn.

And that’s about the limit of what I can get my head around to write today.