Tag Archives: PTSD

Heck of a week, innit?

Personally this was a busy week for me what with buying new shoes on Monday, and fasting blood draws Wednesday and Thursday and a grocery run Thursday afternoon then that Nice terror attack. The deadliness of the truck just underscores what I have been saying about motor vehicles for years, they are WMD. I mean what else would you call something that killed more than 80 people in one pass? Very few of the victims were shot, most were crushed by the truck.

I posted a pic of my old shoes earlier where you could see the insides from the outside. So that was a required trip. I covered that trip with the post I put the picture in.

Wednesday I got up way too early (for me) and barely made a 10 AM appointment for a blood draw, and the (installation, application?) of an Automated Blood Pressure Monitor, and had breakfast at the Wendy’s (the 4 for $4 deal) across the street from the bus stop for the trip home. I had been up for about 5 hours when I finally had breakfast just before noon. I finally got home about 1420 exhausted and desperately thirsty, with my left arm being squeezed to death by the BP monitor every 15 minutes. That continued until 2200 when the frequency dropped to every 20 minutes until 0600. That made for a very restless sleep.

Thursday morning I was able to get up almost an hour later because the connections for DART worked much better even though the appointment was only a half hour later than Wednesday. I had another blood draw, peed in a cup, and had an EKG that took two patches of hair off my chest when the electrodes were removed. When I got out of the office I had a few minutes to catch the next bus, or I could have breakfast and wait an hour more to get the next bus. I decided that I could have a package of Poptarts when I got home, about 1330. Since I got up later than I did the day before I could survive until then without food. So I didn’t eat breakfast until after 1 PM, more than 12 hours since my last meal. This is about 2 hours longer than I normally go before breakfast. The bad thing is I was active for about 6 hours before breakfast when I’m normally much less active before breakfast so my reserves were pretty much depleted by the time I had something to eat. I took a sit-down rest with the kittens after eating and had enough energy to go shopping when that time came up around 1700.

Then yesterday I actually went out and visited with a friend from my RPG group while she went shopping for food for her lizards and snakes, mostly crickets and frozen rat embryos, yay! We mostly made small talk while this was going on. There will be a strong chance I will be having dinner elsewhere sometime next week.

Anyway something else that happened is I got a prescription for an anti-depressant while I was at the Lab Rat Keeper. I have been depressed longer than I have been known my wife, she literally won’t know what to do with me when I get the meds right and am not depressed. Hell I won’t know what to do with myself when I’m not depressed anymore. I have been depressed most of my life, about 45 out of 57 years. I literally do not remember what it feels like to not be depressed a little to a lot.

What caused my depression? Well, I am a military brat from the ’60s and ’70s and got moved frequently, so that I changed schools 7 times from 6th to 8th grades, and 5 times from K-5. This has been found to be as stressful as being in combat for an adult, especially frequent moves between 5th and 9th grades, when I was getting bounced around like a ping-pong ball in a paint shaker. The comparison to combat was because the original study was done by the organization that was responsible for moving me so much, the DoD. Well I can’t do anything about my past, so I’m going to do something about my future.

And I have rambled on quite enough now.

Billed @€0.02, Opus