Tag Archives: sick

I’m sick, still

As the headline said, I’m unwell. I have aches and pains, always tired, and no appetite. And no enthusiasm for anything.

As a “fer-instance” we just finished Championship Weekend for NASCAR. Three days of intense racing and barnburner finishes, that I had to fight to stay awake through. Congrats to the winners and champions, I just wish I could remember who you are. Except Kyle Larson, fuck his racist ass.

Nothing new on the Sprint-T or Mini Sprint-T. The former’s stalled for lack of parts, the latter for lack of enthusiasm. I have the parts, tools, and raw stock to have the build done in a couple of days, a week at most, but getting the enthusiasm to actually do something about it? YAWN

I know where part of this comes from, Mrs. the Poet does not feel good and everytime I try to get amorous with her I get shunned or slapped. But that’s not enough to cover all of it. My usual levels of depression don’t cover it either, not even combined with the lack of a love life. Long story abridged too short for Reader’ Digest, there are multiple things taking a whack at my ability to do things. And I have nothing I can do to correct the situation.

I know this is way short of my usual gabfest where I go on for several hundred to a thousand words, but I just don’t have it in me today.


Not been feeling well

It started Saturday afternoon when I had a dizzy and nauseous spell while shopping. I did manage to get home and unloaded the groceries, but shortly after dinner I started getting dizzy and really tired and went to bed about 2000 Saturday.

Well, I didn’t sleep real good and after a night (and most of a day) of strange dreams I finally woke up about 1500 Sunday and then napped on and off until 1700 still having weird dreams about Escherian houses and walking paths with stretches of deep sand. You know Escher, the guy that drew impossible buildings and especially those staircases that never end? Well he could be the architect of some of the houses I see in my dreams. Seriously, the rooms and staircases in these dreams lack exterior walls and don’t always line up, because they follow “dream logic”. This is a thing, that you can Google, where dreams follow an internal consistency that is not shared by the waking world, but that seems to be shared between people in the dreaming world. Thus we get buildings with internal walls and doors, but that are open to the outside and people just walk in and out and have conversations like there is a difference between inside and out.

The fact that I have more dreams like this when I’m not feeling well might have something to do with how my brain works (or doesn’t) when I’m sick. Also there doesn’t seem to be any consistency about if I do or don’t take my sleep aids before bed.

And I was reading web comics while composing this post and this comic reminded me of several wrecks where I was first or almost first on scene and people died or were horribly mutilated, like when the guy rolled the SUV with his harm hanging out the window, or the guy who drove his Chevette under the flatbed trailer until it hit him in the face, and he kept trying to rub his face, or the convertible full of kids that hit the guy wire on a telephone poll and did a half roll at speed and landed back in the road upside down. That one actually had a survivor as there was one girl giving a guy in the back seat oral sex which put her entirely below the bottom of the windows and safely above the pavement. Or the motorcycle sideswiped by a truck and the rider lost his leg in several pieces that I sincerely hope came off in one piece and got chopped up after he lost it.https://grrlpowercomic.com/archives/comic/grrl-power-912-maximum-trauma/

I think I might have mentioned seeing the guy lose his arm in this blog a few years back when he rolled a Ford Exploder on its side while hanging said arm out the window, but I can’t find it in the archives. Oh, here it is.


And now I’m going to have a lie-down because I have another headache…

Yesterday was a mess

First up, the RPG session was cancelled because one player had an out-of-town relative drop in. Then something biological nailed me right in the eyes and I ended up semi-conscious most of the day and night. I woke up about 0330, very thirsty. I have no idea what it was except it really made my eyes hurt, like I had been hit in the face, and the only thing that did anything for the pain was lying down and closing my eyes.

Now why this was a mess was there were two races on TV yesterday, and I was semi-conscious for both of them.

I managed to be alert through the end of the first stage of the NASCAR Cup race in Las Vegas, then I was zoning in and out until the end, and I didn’t catch the winner. I heard some bits out of the middle of the final Indycar race of the season in Sonoma, but not the end of that one either.

Obviously I wasn’t able to get much thinking done being mostly out of it.

Now today I get to go to the bank again and find out who has been spending my money. By my calculation someone else has taken about $70 from my account since the first of the month, and I only get $100 a month. I have some actual physical money that I can use for bus fare to get to the bank, which is good because the available balance on my card is negative and I can’t use my phone to pay for bus fare until it is positive. If I get a PM pass it’s good until the last bus home and I can pretty much go wherever I want, like before when I bought a day pass, only this is cheaper than a day pass. Basically this is the same price as the old 2 hour pass only since they raised the price of the day pass it also raised the price of the AM-PM passes by the same increment over the 2 hour pass. So I will get the PM pass and go to the bank and find out who has my money without authorization. And then I will give them a new one, verbally, before I send LEO to arrest them. I don’t have much to steal, but I get really pissy about people stealing from me, especially when they clean me out. Seriously I was expecting to get the money that was stolen 9/3 back by Friday, not to have everything else plus a couple of bucks taken. Seriously, if you ever encounter a company called Just Answers on the web, shut down your browser and disconnect from the web. They never refunded my $5 trial membership, then they took $46, and I strongly suspect they are involved with the money vanishing from my account over the weekend. I will make another post later once I verify that one way or the other.

Didn’t go out today

Mrs. the Poet appears to have caught some kind of bug and has temporarily (I hope) lost her sense of smell and taste. Her loss means she has decided to skip spending money on food she can’t taste and spending bus fare to get to food she can’t taste. While this disappoints me, upsetting my wife disappoints me more than skipping dinner out.

There is humor to be found in the situation, however. Anytime she uses a word with a long “u” or “oo” sound, she honks like someone strangling a goose. It even makes her giggle sometimes. It’s the little things that keep us from killing each other sometimes, but I’ll take it.

I spent an hour crawling over and around the bucket body seeing how much room I had for feet and master cylinders, and if I bend my knees a little I might be able to get 3 master cylinders and pedals between the body and the bellhousing, 2 brakes and one clutch, but if I end up with a SBC there ain’t no way in hell there will be that much room. My knees would need to be around my chin to have that much room. I sure hope that winning lottery ticket comes through soon…

Goodnight everybody.

Just an update on my condition because of pain meds

This morning I had the remains of two teeth pulled, a lasting reminder of the damage I suffered as a result of the wreck I had back in 2001. The teeth broke off beneath the gumline but didn’t fall out for at least a couple of years, leaving the roots behind. The exposed roots eventually became an avenue for infection that blew up into the mess that was my mouth last weekend and this week. after a massive amount of local anesthetic was pumped into my jaw I eventually got numb “enough” to extract the remaining roots. All I can say is it’s a good thing I have a high tolerance for pain 😦 Seriously, I have done things that should have caused me to pass out from the pain with just an “Ow, that hurt!” and carry on. I’m just kinda running on a stream-of-semi-consciousness here, because more than 3 hours after I got them, the local anesthetics are just now starting to wear off and feeling is coming back to my face and mouth. The first thing I felt was that some time during the extraction either I bit the side of my tongue or the dentist pinched it with the extraction tools. Either way my tongue seriously hurts now, but in a survivable way.

And now I’m starting to feel… hungry?!? WTF!?! I can’t eat anything right now, I still don’t have good swallow control over my tongue yet. At least I have managed to stop drooling, but this shirt will still need a trip through the laundry shortly. But seriously, I’m hungry now.

Also, I’m starting to feel the empty space where I used to have a tooth. And that empty space is filled with discomfort, bordering on pain, but because I’m hungry it just feels weird. And the hole is still draining so there is this really nasty taste in my mouth from the infection. Fortunately I anticipated this development, and bought bland, pleasant-tasting foods so that I would be not-hungry and also not have a nasty taste in my mouth. So, get me my cherry-vanilla yogurt! Where’s that.. oh that’s right, in this universe I don’t have minions/servants/sex slaves, I have to get my own yogurt by myself. Eating yogurt means I will have to change gauze packs again, but I have ample amounts of gauze to change with.

Since my mind wandered in the direction of food, I should probably use this spot to inform y’all that I lost 12 pounds since the previous Friday. A lot of that is mild dehydration, but I burned enough actual fat off to make it a concern about appearance. I wouldn’t want to look too good at this clothing-optional camping trip I’m about to go on… I already have enough problems there just being a cyclist in halfway decent condition. If my abs start to show at my age, there could be trouble.

OK mail just ran, and so did my attention. I haven’t finished eating yet. man, you should like try these drugs, man… And another sharp pull back to this reality as my mouth decided to send another pain-gram, this one via my right eye socket. Hard to see when that happens. The yogurt is gone now, I must be finished eating?

The good part is this is better than I felt on Sunday evening and Monday morning. The bad part is this is much worse than I felt yesterday afternoon or this morning. And the feeling goofy part is something I do to control the level of pain I feel. There is the pain that I’m actually generating, and then there’s the pain I actually feel, and seldom do I ever allow those two to approach equal, some of that pain energy has to go somewhere, so I make it goofy energy. Much better feeling goofy than to feel pain. Because pain, like hurts really bad…

And I think I need to take a nap, so while I np you guys go find something else to read for a while, shoo!

PSA, Opus

Just TCB while waiting to pull some teeth, and a large Feed

First the good news, the swelling and pain from the abscess are both way down, enough that I was able to shave today. I still have a lot of swelling, but it isn’t pure agony to touch my face today, only mildly uncomfortable. Second I have been preparing for an extended camping trip into primitive conditions and this blog will be off-air from 4/10 through 4/15 as I disconnect from the Internet and reconnect with Nature, and my religious roots. There will be some bike riding involved as there is about a quarter-mile of gravel road between my camp area (Refugee Camp) and the showers and gathering areas for conferences and meetings.

A cyclist in CA is killed and LEO don’t even release what road he was killed on. Stockton cyclist dies after being struck by vehicle Note that he was hit “in the area of Arch Airport Road and Highway 99” not on an actual road that can be examined via Google Maps and Street View. I can’t say how to avoid or prevent a wreck when I’m not even allowed to know the location much less direction of travel for all vehicles involved.

A SWSS from the most deadliest state in the US to walk or ride a bike. Punta Gorda bicyclist hit, killed by car Another SWSS as the cyclist “swerved” in front of the weapon vehicle but is unable to state his lane position prior to the impact because he’s dead. Did anyone not driving the weapon vehicle see the alleged “swerve”? And how did the driver get injured driving a 2.25 ton vehicle into a 200 pound man on a bicycle? If the cyclist came through the windshield that is usually an indication of excessive speed on the motor vehicle. Hit-from-behind protocols to avoid, get the infrastructure right to prevent including less gullible LEO.

I hope they pull this person’s license as being “medically unfit” in this case from the UK. OAP accused of causing death of cyclist ‘suffered profound faint’ Anyone claiming innocence in a motor vehicle wreck because of a medical condition should be permanently banned from driving and also relinquish all motor vehicles in their possession.

The “anti-cycling” former mayor of Toronto may have driven drunk… Worst Mayor Ever Spent the evening drinking and seen stumbling in the general direction of his car, but nobody actually saw him drive.

Another wreck with low information from South Africa. Cape Town cyclist killed, another injured Two cyclists hit and then the article goes to ask cyclists and motorists to follow the law and be tolerant…

Update on a wreck report from Oz. Hero cop killed on birthday ride Even an experienced road user with thousands of miles under his wheels is no match for crappy infrastructure and uncaring fellow road users in control of deadly weapons. This rider was a highway cop with thousands of bike miles and hundreds of thousands of driving miles, and he still got killed by an inattentive/distracted driver at a tricky intersection that left him with few options for negotiating and no good options.

Infrastructure from the UK, as their roads are so bad that their bus system injures or kills 2 vulnerable road users per day. London buses ‘hit two pedestrians or cyclists a day’ I don’t believe this is entirely on the bus operators as an injury rate that high is systemic to the operating environment. In other words their street environment is toxic to the point it injures or kills an average of 2 people a day, just from one mode of vehicle not counting the people killed or injured by other modes like HGV or taxis. The proposed “solutions” are to reduce or eliminate public transit, and not to fix the roads. That is like amputating a broken leg rather than setting it.

More infrastructure from the UK as cycling lanes are “debated”. Call for more cyclist lanes There was more of the “no room” for bikes clamor when they take great hunks out of the middles of the roads to keep cars from running into each other, but offer nothing to cyclists to prevent cars from running them over.

Last link, rich famous people still drive like fools as being rich and famous is no antidote to being a fool. Clark Gable’s Son Suspected of DUI in Malibu Crash Damages were estimated at a quarter of a million dollars, US. Fortunately there were no cyclists in his path of destruction.

And those are all the links that gave me fits today.

Billed @$0.02, Opus

Doing much better, and the Feed

OK, your update on if I’m going to live or die, it looks like the pool will go to the people betting on “live”. I have a massive abscess on the right side of my lower jaw that the swelling extended up to just under my cheekbone, and that started draining spontaneously as I was consuming a liquid lunch (milkshake, not alcohol). The damages extended as far forward as my lower right lip, and as far back as just under my right ear. When the infection started to drain the piece of potato chip that started the whole mess came out first, then a whole mess of really vile-tasting gunk. It was almost bad enough to put me off from finishing my chocolate shake. Only the fact that I had not actually eaten anything that day made me able to continue. The dentist prescribed an antibiotic that was on my list of approved medications for this study I’m currently on, and a synthetic opiate painkiller so I could get an uninterrupted night’s sleep. I go back to get the roots left over from the broken teeth extracted on Thursday after giving the antibiotic and my near-Wolverine (comic book X-Men character) healing powers a chance to work at clearing up the infection. That means Thursday’s post might be either late or incoherent as the roots come out shortly after 0900.

Up first with the big story, a SUV driver commits hit-and-run in GA. Police seek driver of SUV after bicyclist struck and killed in hit-and-run crash also Marietta bicyclist killed in hit and run and Bicyclist killed in hit and run, motorist with 2 children wanted for questioning more Police investigate SUV driver in fatal hit-and-run not done yet Marietta police seek SUV driver after deadly hit-and-run I see no indication from any of the articles that there was anything the cyclist could have done to avoid the wreck, as what little I can find out indicates the driver just pulled out almost on top of the cyclist. Remember every parking lot entrance is an intersection that drivers wait to pounce on you from, and ride accordingly. Infrastructure might have prevented this by forcing the driver to acknowledge he could be encountering cyclists as he left the parking lot.

The next-biggest story is the ongoing saga of the MN cyclist killed by a DUI driver. ID for cyclist killed in Mpls. accident and Family Remembers Bicyclist Killed In Mpls. Hit-&-Run also Friends grieve for Minneapolis bicyclist killed by hit-and-run driver At this point since the only blame being placed on the rider is for not wearing a helmet or having lights it’s a pretty fair bet that the driver of the motor vehicle was on the wrong side of the street, and not just a little but a lot. That makes this definitely an “unavoidable” wreck for the cyclist as the driver had to cross at least 2 and maybe 3 lanes before hitting the cyclist… from looking at the Street View of the intersection.

More links but no more information on the OH 6YO hit while riding his bike. Boy critically injured in Ohio collision The kid was riding in his home neighborhood residential area, the driver should have been alert for children playing and riding in the street. Also some better instruction about intersection protocols for the cyclist (even a 6YO needs to know how to cross the street on a bike). All said and done this wreck falls mainly on an almost total lack of education on bicycles as transportation for all parties involved in the wreck.

Another infrastructure-related wreck as a college student and a city bus failed to negotiate right of way. Purdue student injured following bus crash near campus Looking at the scene, with no visible damage to the visible side of the bus it looks like the bus pulled into the bus stop while the cyclist was riding in the space. Update just posted Purdue student in serious condition after crashing into bus on campus Since I can’t see the video the article mentions I can’t say how much BS there is in the bus company’s interpretation of it, but the location of the blood stain next to the curb supports my initial interpretation of the wreck, so it may be a combination of the rider not having situational awareness to avoid the bus that was pulling into the stop where he was already riding.

Update on the riders hit in far West Canuckistan. Saanich cyclists injured in two separate accidents over Easter Still intersection wrecks with a right hook and a left cross and both still the fault of the drivers involved…

Also from the Great White North, a cyclist is hit by a right-turning driver as she crossed with the light and is blamed for riding in the crosswalk? Riding through pedestrian crosswalk lands Toronto cyclist in hospital I’m still trying to wrap my head around this one, as the driver is getting a free ride for hitting someone in a crosswalk crossing with the light. Sure if riding a bike in the crosswalk is illegal give the cyclist a ticket, but don’t let the driver off because the same thing would have happened if there was a pedestrian in the crosswalk.

And those are all the links that gave me fits today.

Billed @$0.02, Opus

Not very happy, and the Feed

Well while waiting for my trip to the dentist my condition has deteriorated somewhat. The topical anesthetic I was using is so painful to apply that overall it just doesn’t do any good, and I can barely open my mouth, which should make things… interesting when the dentist tries to get access to that broken tooth to let the abscess drain. The pain has died down to a dull roar (one of the advantages of dealing with chronic pain in my youth is the ability to function in spite of pain, essentially to ignore it), but still prevents me from doing things (like opening my mouth wide) and it kept waking me up last night. BTW, yawning hurts like a female dog in heat. Eating has been loads of fun as you can imagine.

Up first is the big US story about a woman cyclist killed by a hit-and-run DUI. Bicyclist killed in hit-and-run in Minneapolis is identified and Cyclist, 28, Killed in Hit-and-Run Crash in Mpls. also Female Cyclist Killed in Mpls. Hit-and-Run Identified At this time it has not been released if the cyclist or the drunk driver was on the wrong side of the road, and without seeing the weapon vehicle I couldn’t even hazard a guess, but as the two were travelling in opposite directions one of them was on the wrong side of the road. The driver is being charged with vehicular homicide and a local anti-gun activist has been protesting at the site of the wreck (somebody else who understands that motor vehicles are much more deadly than guns). I don’t know what the cyclist could have done to prevent until I know if she was riding salmon or the driver was. If the cyclist was riding salmon then lights and riding on the right side of the street may have prevented this wreck. If the cyclist was riding the correct side of the street for her direction of travel then lights may have helped. I do know one thing, a helmet would have only made her look less bad (note, “less bad” not = “better”) as this was a head on wreck that destroyed the bike she was riding and severely damaged the weapon vehicle (I suspect the reason LEO had such an easy time finding the weapon vehicle is that it didn’t get very far away after the wreck). I’m not entirely sure segregated infrastructure would have prevented this drunk from hitting a cyclist, but it might have made a life-or-death difference.

An OH child is hit riding his bike. Ohio boy, 6, critically injured after bicycle and car collide Young rider and young driver made a horrible match, but with so little information provided in the article all I can suggest is intersection protocols to avoid and better infrastructure to prevent, including making all residential areas low speed (20 MPH limit or less).

In far West Canuckistan they had so many bike wrecks they didn’t even give them separate articles. Cyclists injured in two separate collisions with cars in Saanich on weekend Neither of the two wrecks was the fault of the cyclist. One was a left cross, and the other was a right hook, and in one wreck the cyclist was hit in a bike lane. Obviously intersection protocols to avoid both of the wrecks, and get the infrastructure right to prevent them.

Lots of links from Oz today as a cyclist is hit bywith a bus. Cyclist killed in collision with bus and Cyclist dies at Beveridge also Cyclist killed after being hit by bus in Beveridge As of this posting the particulars for this wreck have not been determined, but as it happened near an off-ramp to a freeway I would count it highly probable that one or the other failed to yield right of way when he was supposed to.

Last link is infrastructure-related from Jolly Olde. Grantham pothole throws cyclist over his handlebars As it has been raining in the UK I’m going to assume the reason this cyclist hit the large pothole is because it was hidden by darkness and a bike light not up to the task. To prevent get a really bright light with a smooth light pattern.

And that’s all I have for now, I’m off to spend the afternoon in the dentist’s office.

Billed @$0.02, Opus

Happy Easter to my Christian readers on a Wreck-Free Sunday

I’m not going to make the jokes about Zombie Jesus or Vampire Jesus, because there are already too many of those out there, and I’m not in the mood today. I’m not even going to make the jokes about the confused rabbit laying chocolate eggs. I’m just not in a joking mood today because my face hasn’t felt this bad since the wreck. I had one of the broken teeth develop an abscess before, but it never got this bad. I can barely open my mouth and I had to pass off the service today to my stand-in. That I passed the service for Hilaria over to someone else to perform gives you an idea of how bad I’m feeling, but feeling bad wasn’t the only reason I passed it on. I can’t open my mouth enough to articulate well, and given the quarter calls I wrote for the service bad pronunciation will cause problems that I don’t want to cause. The quarter calls are based on the WWE wrestler introductions and includes 18 to 45 seconds of theme music for each element. The theme for Earth was “Mississippi Queen” by Mountain, the theme for Air was “They Call the Wind Mariah”, the theme for Fire was “Fire” from the Crazy World of Arthur Brown, and the theme for Water was the chorus from “Under the Sea” from “The Little Mermaid” with wrestler-style over-the-top introductions for each element. Had I been physically able to do it it would have been really funny… >sigh<

On the physical condition of the blogger front, well you already know I can't get my mouth open far enough to speak clearly, and I'm in a lot of pain. Also physical activity makes the pain worse by making my BP go up and increasing my heart rate, so no bike riding except as needed to get me someplace I absolutely have to go. I wouldn't drive in this condition either, so don't go making it out that I have finally found something that makes cycling for transportation "worse" than driving. Another thing is not being ale to open my mouth very far mans there isn't a whole lot I can eat here. I haven't even opened the cookies I got on Friday, and I am a cookie monster. I have been looking for soft foods that don't require opening my mouth up very far, like the pancakes from this morning that I cut into little tiny bites. I think I will have some of that rice porridge I made to eat for breakfast as lunch because getting a sandwich in my mouth is an exercise in pain. And I don't do exercise…

I think it might be time to change the rear derailer cable on Blue, as shifting has been getting a little imprecise in the last couple of months. Considering that I have put more than 5K miles on the bike with hundreds of thousands of shifts over the years I think I did pretty good with this one. and they aren't that hard to replace. So next trip to the LBS will be a new rear shifter cable, and then lots of pictures to document removing and replacing the cable on an upcoming Wreck-Free Sunday Post. That means you don't get the total "impact" of what working on a bike is like for me because I do a lot of swearing under my breath when I wrench… 😉

Now I'm starting to not feel so good again, so I'm going to wrap this up and go have a lie-down with another pain pill to try to get some rest as I had about 3 hours of awake time during the night as the pain pill I took before bed wore off and allowed me to wake back up and the next pain pill took a while to get to work.

PSA, Opus

My face feels awful, and the Feed

To be honest I really did not want to do this post today, because I have an abscess in my jaw and my face feels like I did after the wreck. The best thing I have for pain is ibuprofen and ice packs, which only help a little bit. Ora Jel deadens the surface of the infection but doesn’t do anything for the pain caused by the swelling. Also I get watering of my eyes for no apparent reasons except pain. So if the advice about the wrecks in today’s post seems more acerbic than usual, now you know why.

Up first in an update on a CA hit-and-run. Family, Friends Remember Cyclist Killed in Hit-and-Run Again, there was nothing a human cyclist could have done to avoid this wreck, and infrastructure would not have helped the driver not ignore the already-existing infrastructure. When they find the guy I hope they allow him to witness the recycling of the weapon vehicle “up close, and personal”.

Also from CA an update on another wreck… Thousands Of Cyclists Ride To Support Severely Injured Hit-And-Run Victim This was the guy hit by a left turning vehicle that was jumping line in a traffic jam. More Bicyclists Ride in Honor of Hit-and-Run Victims

A MN drunk kills another cyclist. Minneapolis cyclist killed in hit-and-run, driver arrested for DWI Apparent hit-from-behind wreck, use the protocols to avoid and get the infrastructure right to prevent. Google Maps shows a mixed residential and light commercial area which would be served by bike lanes under the Dutch model. So maybe the real prevention would be slower speed limits and fewer drunks on the roads.

Finally appropriate charges in NY for a cyclist killer. Upstate NY man facing murder and other charges for death of cyclist during police chase The cyclist’s body was stuck on the truck during the chase at speeds up to 90 MPH. In my book just the DUI makes this wreck deserving of murder charges. Another driver that should be forced to “watch” his vehicle get recycled chained to the steering wheel.

Enn Zed sees another cyclist fatality. Cyclist killed in crash At the time of the posting there was nothing more known about the wreck except its severity, described as “gut-wrenching”. I’m going to assume that means “really bad”. The wreck was identified as “near” an intersection so perhaps intersection protocols would have made a difference, in a very rural area so infrastructure to keep high-speed traffic away from fragile human beings would have been useful as well.

Volvo introduces a gradual phasing out of human drivers with a car that refuses to run over cyclists… Volvo debuts world’s first cyclist detection system with full auto-brake

Last link is to an awesome Instructible that I thought at first was an early April Fool’s prank. Build a life-sized active volcano Secret lair not ready yet? Well build the volcano first!

And those are all the links I could remain upright enough to copy and paste.

Billed @$0.02, Opus