Tag Archives: tree bukakke

Allergies and PTSD kept me from having the energy to write

Short post to explain the sudden lack of posts. The headline pretty much explains everything, but for the record trees and grass have been been having an orgy and my head is caught in the cross-fire. I can breathe, but at the cost of not having energy to do much else beyond that. Part of that is allergies, part of that is the deep funk I fell into after Chauvin was convicted of the murder we all watched repeatedly on TV and social media most of last year after every protest against a cop killing a BIPOC which seemed like every other day. I mean nonchalantly kneeling on the neck of a Black man with his hands in his pockets like this was a normal thing for him to be doing, murdering a Black man in the street with dozens of people filming it and recording the sounds of it as Floyd’s life left his body.

I get that he is going to prison and unless he spends the rest of his life in solitary the rest of his life will be short and violent. But this still does not feel like a victory. The closest thing I can compare it to was that one hill in Vietnam we “won” like 3 times, only to abandon it and the VC were back on it firing on our troops in a couple of weeks at most. To “win” this one we have to eliminate White Supremacists from all branches and forms of LEO and make ever being a part of any racist organization disqualifying for having a firearm and from working for law enforcement. We not only have to “take the hill” of each individual LEO who kills a BIPOC, we have to “win the war” against White Supremacy. And that looks like a very long and costly battle.

I have had PTSD longer than PTSD existed as a diagnosis, and for most of my life it has been untreated, even after I was diagnosed. It is now known that untreated PTSD results in depression that is extremely hard to treat, because after a while depression becomes less like a mental problem and more like a personality trait. It burrows down into your soul, and takes up permanent residence there. And while I can live with it like this since I don’t seem to have the option of suicide, I would prefer to be actually happy sometimes, instead of just “almost not depressed” which is what passes for “happiness” for me. And to understand what depression as a personality trait looks like, I present Eeyore. Eeyore is so depressed suicide is too much of a bother because it will put others out cleaning up the mess. I passed that milestone decades ago. And the recent circus about the White Supremacist who murdered a man with his hands in his pockets did my depression no favors. I’m still not in any way suicidal because I don’t want to make anyone have to clean up the mess. And I still haven’t forgotten what may have been the hallucination of getting put inside a body bag, so suicide is right out.

Still feels like I’m getting punched in the face

Like, seriously, I wish the trees would keep their sexual activity to themselves. If there are any genetic engineers out there reading this, could you genetically engineer a less-messy reproduction process for the trees I’m allergic to? Seriously, trees, keep it private.

Also, showing my age here, but am I the only person getting Fireball XL5 vibes off the SpaceX Starship?Golden Age sci-fi anyone?
Serious golden age vibes here
Seriously I know it’s not exactly the same, and the XL5 launched horizontally from a track while the Starship launches vertically, but I’m catching a serious XL5 vibe from the Starship. Or maybe just some of those paperback book covers from the ’60s, but old school SF.

And while I’m doing a lot of pictures, here is a picture of the front of a truck LS architecture engine with the picture of my proposed belt routing underneath so you can get a better idea of where things go.
A better look at the impediments for the belt routing
The trick is to keep the belt out of the thermostat mount

It’s that time of year again

Yes, tree bukkake strikes again.😰 Almost feels like a caffeine withdrawal headache at first, then the eyes start watering, and the nose starts itching, and I can’t leave the house without someone with me to keep me from getting arrested for public intoxication, because with the brain damage and the one leg shorter than the other and allergy symptoms, I can’t pass a field sobriety test to save my life. Hence, I have to have a keeper when I leave the house.

At least this time I didn’t have to pry my eyes open with my fingers to be able to see, but judging by the amount of discharge I’m having that will be Monday.

Speaking (writing?) about Monday, that’s when I’ll be watching the dirt Cup race from Bristol. I even got up early to check the pre-race show, but the pits and vendor areas were covered by just under a foot of water (looked like more on my phone, but those Easy-ups could have been collapsed to keep from blowing away). Anywho, the trucks are supposed to roll 1100 CDT and the Cup cars at 1500 CDT. We will see if there is any dirt left to race on. It has been raining pretty hard in the mountains of East Tennessee.

On another front I might have mentioned I got an updated quote for the quick change rear axle with 1° cambered axle tubes and hubs and everything except the spur gears and it is about $2100 plus shipping, which considering the $1900 Ford 9″ housing and centersection doesn’t have the 1° camber option is a screaming deal. Apples to apples, the QC without the camber is less than the Ford, especially when you consider the price to have spare rear end ratios is $1k for the Ford and $55 for the QC. And a complete change of differential oil for the Ford compared to maybe a quart for the QC. Basically except for initial purchase price and a few model-specific consumables, the QC beats the pants off the Ford 9″ as far as economics of operation are concerned. Especially now that junkyard 9″ axles cost as much to make useful as buying new, and that’s not even factoring in the cost of labor.

I was listening to my YTM Supermix while composing the previous para, and checking the lyrics to the ELP song “Jeremy Bender”, and whaddayouknow Ol’ Jer’ is genderfluid, in 1971. If I hadn’t checked the lyrics I never would have known. I mean after you read the lyrics it’s as obvious as the nose on your face, hid for years in an abbey of nuns but had been presenting as male for years, but if you didn’t think about it too hard or if you couldn’t pick the lyrics out of the rest of the music you would have definitely missed it, or dismissed it as just babbling words to make a rhyme. But if they weren’t just babbling, yep, Jer’ was non-binary genderfluid.

Also while looking for the new age version of prog rock I found a group called Elder, who are a worthy heir to the mantle. In some pieces they are a rockier Pink Floyd, or Yes. And B4 you say it, yes I wander around the back catalogs in YTM a lot. I also Google the shit outta things that make me wonder. I mean if Swing music can evolve but still stay the same, why not progressive rock? It can and it did.

And there are about six hours of music in this catalog, I’m going to quit writing and lay down with my phone plugged into the charger and listen until my ears bleed.

Allergies are kicking my backside yesterday

I slept 14 hours yesterday because of tree bukakke as the VP of my church used to put it. Most people call it a pollen bloom, but it’s actually tree sperm sprayed into the atmosphere and landing on us. Anywho, there was some of that, that I was especially allergic to, that gave me aches and pains and just made me miserable. I would wake up and not be able to open my eyes because of how swollen my eyelids were. Yay, me! And just go back to sleep.

Things here in my state are getting pretty bad as far as government services go. The new UI applications are about 630 TIMES usual volume. This is like all the other states and all of Europe decided to run their UI through TX phones and computers. This is the worst it has been since the 1930s as far as people out of work is concerned, they didn’t have unemployment back then but they still counted how many people were working compared to how many were looking. And it wasn’t as bad as what we are dealing with now. Now if people don’t get crazy greedy about getting paid NOW! and we can just let things ride a bit until this blows over everybody can just pick up where we left off and no big thing, especially if the GOP decides to give most of the bailout to people instead of companies. Granted companies are going to need some cashflow to keep the doors open and pay the mortgage, or we could just put everything on pause until after the lockdown is over. Banks aren’t paying for much, so use the bailout money to cover their costs but only just their costs, no profits. Let the stimulus money pay for the things that have to be bought while everybody is out of work and also pay “hazard pay” for the people keeping us alive.

Enough of the ranting about political stuff, I also have been thinking about making things while I couldn’t open my eyes. I mean like how to stuff an LS engine into a sprint or midget chassis, or a shaft drive motorcycle into a live axle frame of some kind, or some kind of independent rear suspension thing for SCCA A-Mod (all of those for A-Mod), and riffed off of those to do mutants that were some of A and a little of B and a whole bunch from out in left field. As I was mostly asleep this was fun, but not recordable or shareable.

And I have basically run out of things to say. I’ll post something again when I have something more to say.