Tag Archives: what next?

Now what?

I have gone as far down the road my resources allow me to go towards the TGS2 and the Sprint-T. I could draw some pictures but that wouldn’t get anything built. And one of the things driving my depression is I don’t get anything done, I don’t get anything close to getting done, before I run out of resources, including the drive I need to see the end of the project.

So what can I do to get something done? I want what I’m building. I want it bad. I have wanted it for almost 50 years. But I just can’t muster the drive and the resources to get it. Is this related to my depression? Is there some part of my mind that is trying to destroy me and preventing me from working to make myself happy? Is it something that came from getting moved around so much as a kid? I know that part of the problem I have with making long-term relationships is a result of changing schools so much as a kid. I mean forget “Summer Romances” I was lucky to see people to the end of a semester, and between school years even if we didn’t get transferred most of the kids I was social with would get moved. So yeah, relationships were hard to impossible, because there just wasn’t time for any to develop.

So, what if I decided to complete something I had all the parts I needed to get to the final result? Something simple like build up one of the model kits into a complete car. I have two kits at hand, one that I robbed of parts to make stuff for the mini Sprint-T, and another completely untouched except for a parts inventory and then close the box. I could build up one of the kits’ 4 cars (between the 2 kits there are 4 complete cars) and have something I recently completed, to look at and inspire me. I’m going to start small and work my way up from there. I’m going to make something and complete the project if it kills me.