Tag Archives: why I’m a retired superhero

I’m the luckiest guy passing a kidney stone in the whole world

Just a quick note about kidney stones. I was told that because of the condition I have that makes my bones and ligaments super strong against blunt force trauma I have a high chance of developing kidney stones. I mentioned when they checked my bone density as a part of broken hip protocol many moons ago I was accused of slipping in a chunk of concrete for the test because my bones are basically biologic portland cement and I have a metric buttload of calcium in my metabolism. Well one of the co-morbidities of this condition besides having bones that wear out the usual surgical tools and require the use of power tools, I also have a higher than normal risk of developing kidney stones.

Well about noon today I passed a stone. I know this because it made a noise from hitting the toilet, not because I felt anything. I am sorry to all those people out there passing kidney stones who aren’t me because I read that the closest thing to passing a stone is having a baby, and somehow I not only don’t have massive pains like everyone else, I don’t have ANY sensation of the stone moving through my body. I didn’t put a hand in the toilet to fish the stone out, but it looked almost polished in the bowl, like a river rock. Maybe I have another condition that produces very smooth kidney stones? Is there such a thing? I know the guy that told me about this condition mentioned kidney stones, maybe having very smooth stones is a collateral part of having this super power.

Another quick note, my joint problems are flaring up like a MF, maybe as a pennance for passing painless kidney stones? My right shoulder is almost frozen from the pain/inflammation. I’m increasing my daily anti-inflammatory meds that I take OTC, because they are cheap to free (my grocery/pharmacy has a customer app that sometimes has free stuff, and recently they put my Ibuprofen on the “get this free” list for the month, one one-hundred-count free bottle) but to minimal effect as of yet. I mean who get shoulder pain from moving their head? Besides me, I mean.

Oh, and the thought occurs that IRL me is the basis for my character in Shadowrun, and we have a data point for establishing my Body stat, the wreck where I died from getting hit with the truck going ~100 km/hr. I know I did this once before but I can’t find the stuff for figuring out how much Body a character needs to just barely get killed from this. There used to be a link for this, but Google can’t find it anymore. I think the last time I figured this I got the answer that I’m a dragon in human form because it was some ridiculously high number in the double digits that would make me bulletproof without armor. My damage track would require a second page to fill out before I passed out, or a ridiculous high soak before taking damage. But that is the game and I’m real (I think). Previous data points include two walk away wrecks at 30-35 MPH from how far I got tossed from the wrecks. I was as they say “scuffed up” and had some bruises and torn clothes, but basically unharmed. Our GM after consulting with his various game manuals while I compose this says that I would need a 7 Body and “huge DR” for the 30-35 MPH wrecks, and the only thing that makes the 2001 wreck survivable in game is “cursed with immortality” along with the previous DR and my in-game Body. IOW I need more than human stats and to be cursed to survive what I survived IRL in-game.