Sammy the Sharing Squirrel scripts on Wreck-Free Sunday

I was going to live-blog the final race of the Sprint Cup season from Miami, but I figured that if you are interested in that kind of thing (Sprint Cup Racing) you are watching it too, so a summary at the end, but no live-blog. So instead I’m going to script out a few PSA to animate and show on the Cartoon Network late night block that used to be called Adult Swim, then was Toonami for a while. I haven’t watched it in a long time (as you can probably tell), because they went with a lot of inane live action programs, and I don’t watch the Cartoon Network for programs that are not animated. Anywho, I’m told that PSA campaigns in this programming block that utilize humor work well at getting the message across.

Script 1.

CUTE MUSIC

SAMMY: Sammy the sharing squirrel here to remind drivers that sharing the road with bicycles means giving bicycles a full lane and moving left to pass in the next lane over. Sharing the lane is like sharing a pair of pants without letting the first guy take them off…

Animated sequence of large bear pulling out Sammy’s waistband and sticking legs inside the pants legs with Sammy.

SAMMY: (strained voice) You have to leave room for the guy that was there first.

CUTE MUSIC and FADE OUT

SCRIPT 2

SAMMY: Sammy the sharing squirrel here to remind drivers that sharing the road with bicycles means giving bicycles a full lane and moving left to pass in the next lane over. Sharing the lane is like being forced to swim with sharks and no shark cage.

Animated sequence of Sammy swimming with a smiling shark wearing a short skirt styled like a pair of board shorts. Shark is not being aggressive, just swimming way too close.

SAMMY: Just because you aren’t trying to be scary does not mean that you aren’t scaring people.

CUTE MUSIC and FADE OUT

SCRIPT 3

SAMMY: Sammy the sharing squirrel here to remind drivers that sharing the road with bicycles means giving bicycles a full lane and moving left to pass in the next lane over. Remember roads are first-come, first-served, not fast-come, fast served.

Animated sequence of Sammy driving a convertible with the speedometer pointed to “Speed Limit” with a bear driving a house-sized SUV roaring up on him and driving right over him.

SAMMY: Just because you drive faster does not give you more right to the road than someone slower.

CUTE MUSIC and FADE OUT

SCRIPT 4

SAMMY: Sammy the sharing squirrel here to remind drivers that sharing the road with bicycles means giving bicycles a full lane and moving left to pass in the next lane over. Remember there is is no such law as “The rule of gross tonnage” on the roads.

Animated sequence of Sammy driving a convertible with the speedometer pointed to “Speed Limit” with a bear driving a house-sized SUV with the grill logo “Split Level” roaring up on him and driving right over him.

SAMMY: Remember a bigger vehicle does not have a greater right to the roads, bicycles have equal right with cars, trucks, or motor homes.

CUTE MUSIC and FADE OUT

SCRIPT 5

SAMMY: Sammy the sharing squirrel here to remind drivers that sharing the road with bicycles means giving bicycles a full lane and moving left to pass in the next lane over. Remember that cars are not the only thing allowed to use the roads.

Animated sequence of bicycle leading a group of road users that stretches out to an unseeable horizon, none of which are cars or trucks.

SAMMY: (voiceover the animated sequence) Remember that there are lots of other people using the roads perfectly legally with just as great a right as a person driving a motor vehicle, including bicycles, farm vehicles, mopeds, (herds of sheep, a platoon of soldiers, a cattle drive) fade out through the line in parentheses

CUTE MUSIC and FADE OUT

There you go, Hollywood. Five 15 second PSAs to show to adults late at night and (hopefully) ooze through thick skulls. You’re welcome.

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